48 months.

Maya @ 48 months :: November 4, 2009

[the last of my what-started-as-weekly-and-is-now-monthly posts about Maya]

• Visited a real pumpkin patch for the first time in Ventura. This was a tradition we started when Ian was little, but we stopped going after a few years so we'd like to resurrect it.
• Her counting to 20 is definitely getting better ... finally.
• She was a mermaid princess for Halloween and went trick-or-treating with her friend M (for two blocks before she got tired). She definitely loves her candy ... but she separated out the chocolates for me and Rupert to eat.
  
• From Rupert's Facebook :: "I'm shooting zombies out of my butt." -- not the words of a normal 3 year old.
• And calling bad guys (Biff from Back to the Future Part II) "poop heads."
  
• She's not very good at pluralfying nouns. Appropriately for October :: "ghostes" + "leafes"
  
• First parent-teacher conference :: academically moving along quite well, but socially it turns out she's a lot more similar to Ian than I originally thought.
• Rupert *still* spoonfeeds her cereal in the morning but she promised me that once she turns 4 she'll eat by herself (which she is totally capable of doing). Now, we have to make sure Rupert goes along with the plan.
  
• She has this thing about not wanting to be on the freeway because "it's boring!" If we're going somewhere she doesn't recognize the first thing she asks is, "Are we going on the freeway?" Then she asks, "Are we on the freeway now?" And finally she asks repeatedly, "Are we off the freeway?"
  

47 months.

Maya @ 47 months :: October 4, 2009

• Is a total Daddy's Girl right now ... which is fine by me since it means she bothers Rupert in the morning instead of me!
• Started "Hot Shots," a tumbling class, at school. It's a great way to get her to wear something other than dresses.
• She can be very lovable + sweet when she wants to be. I get lots of "Mama, I love you all day," which makes my day.
• On the other hand, she often hits or kicks Ian, usually in the face. Then I send her to her room for time-out and she always asks for the timer so she knows when to come out.
• Despite beating up on her brother, she enjoys spending time with him and his friend R when they are hanging out in the morning before school.
• Her drawing infatuation continues. Lately she's been drawing more animals and making bookmarks for me.
  
• She's taller than I think she is :: I put the scissors up high since she was having issues with cutting paper up, but it turns out she can reach it on her tip-toes (I didn't notice because she was good enough to put the scissors back after using it). She can also turn on the lights in the house; now, if only she'd turn them off.
• Has a fascination with butts and boobs.
  

46 months.

maya @ 46 months :: september 4, 2009

• we spent a week in palm desert with my parents (an annual tradition). boy, does she like staying at hotels! she also loves swimming and she'll jump into the pool if you let her hold one of your fingers, but she doesn't like to float around on her own.
• the following conversation pretty much summarizes her attitude right now ::
  

  maya :: i'm the boss!
  ian :: no, you're not.
  maya :: why not?! i'm three and three-quarters!
  

• went on an overnight trip with ian and her grandparents to legoland.
• one of her favorite books is "go, dog. go!"
• she started in the "official" pre-K class, i.e., the four-year-old class at her preschool. i'm happy 'cause tuition is lower thanks to the LAUP program.
• keeps talking about going to ian's friends' houses for sleepovers when she's 16 and 24. i guess it's because we told her she has to be a little bit older to go, but i think i would be hesitant to let her spend the night at a boy's house when she's 16!
  

45 months.

maya @ 45 months :: august 4, 2009

• wants to wear dresses all the time. probably influenced by all the girls at her preschool.
• we started going to our new farmers market down the block from our house and now she thinks the farmers market "lives" in that parking lot.
• always yells out "my school! my school!" when we pass by, which is often.
• enjoying splashing around in the water but isn't much about swimming (i.e., dunking her face underwater), although on a good day she'll let me pull her around while she blows bubbles and kicks her feet.
• can write ian's name and most of the alphabet correctly. she asks about the spelling of certain words, mostly names of people she likes (i.e., ian's friends).
• drawing cats and dogs and princesses.
• finally got to spend the night in ian's room.
• her favorite song is the "ABC song" but one day towards the end of the month she was upset because she "lost" the letter O in the song. it was really because she kept singing it, as most kids her age do, "ellamennow."
• it seems at some point she decided she does, in fact, have a favorite blanket :: the light green baby gap "wan wan" (i.e., puppy) blankie that once belonged to ian.
  
• she loves to stop by a bush near her preschool that attracts a lot of little yellow butterflies. she tries in vain each day to have one walk on her hand; she's only been successful once so far. (on occasion i gently catch one for her so she can see it up close.)

obon festival

i spent my childhood summers in japan. my memories are filled with time spent with my maternal grandparents, going to japanese school (not all good memories), semi-tori (cicada catching) with my cousin, the humidity, and summer festivals. the obon festival was something i attended from year to year and it's a tradition i'd like my kids to embrace as well. it just seems like ian and maya don't have the same kind of summer traditions i did and i'd like them to have fond memories of their summers as i do.

but in order for them to embrace the tradition, i need to take them to an obon festival every year! sadly, in the last 20 years or so i haven't attended any of the many festivals here in the los angeles area. the one i used to go to is the gardena buddhist church obon, and it's the last one of the season in our area.

i couldn't convince ian to come with us (he opted to play at a friend's house) and jordan had a paper to write, so it was just me and maya. i dressed her up in ian's old jinbei-san (even though she wanted to wear a dress) and we headed to gardena for a little cultural mom & daughter time.

the main attraction of an obon festival is the obon dancing, which usually happens in the evening, but we couldn't stay that late. instead, we enjoyed some food (shaved ice and sata-andagi donut holes), watched a bit of taiko drumming, and played a couple of games. the festival seemed smaller than i remembered but it was just the right size for our afternoon outing.

walking through the church grounds and looking at all the people around me, i felt a tad bit out of place. not because i looked any different from the people around me, but because i didn't feel like part of the community.

the japanese american (ja) community has strong ties to each other through many activities for the young and old, annual traditions like obon and nisei week, and families that go back three and four generations in southern california. my step-dad's side of the family has been here for about four generations and my step-sister is pretty tied in with the goings-on in the ja world.

but i've never been a part of that. at the same time, i was never a part of the chuuzai-in (temporary transfers from japan) crowd either. it didn't help that i grew up in manhattan beach with so few asians around me (much less jas). in many ways i feel awkward being at these kinds of events because i know what they're about, but i don't know the ja way (sometimes japanese traditions change or are tweaked over the generations after they've crossed the pacific), or i think i should know about something but i don't and the jas do. basically, i feel in limbo between being a "real" japanese and being ja. and, no wonder. i'm not ja and i'm not really japanese. and my kids are really neither because they don't see themselves as ja or japanese (at least, i don't think ian does and maya needs more time before she even figures out she's not a fairy princess).

i don't think about it often, but there are times when i contemplate cultural self-awareness and what that means for the kids. i want them to be informed about their japanese and jewish heritages but they don't have very good role models in rupert and myself, unfortunately. it's hard to ask your kids to take their cultural backgrounds seriously when you're not very in tune yourself. figuring this all out is another thing to add to my long list of parenting to-dos. at the very least, taking maya to obon and exposing her to it was a start. a pretty tasty start.

44 months.

maya @ 44 months :: july 4, 2009

• talks incessantly; a complete and total chatterbox.
• went to disneyland early in june with her grandparents and can't stop talking about going again.
• coined the term "snarted" when she sneezed + farted at the same time while sitting on the toilet. rupert was so proud.
• really, really, really wants to get a puppy + kitten :: she talks about it almost everyday, asking when she can get a dog and a cat. we keep telling her that when she gets her own house she can do whatever she wants.
  
• calls the zoo, "the jungle."
• no change here but she's writing + drawing up a storm.
• learned a "princess" dance from her classmates, but it's not particularly classy or regal. it's basically putting one hand on the side of her head + the other hand on her hip, and shaking her hips vigorously.
• spent a week away from mama + ian (while they were in paris). claimed she didn't miss ian at all (the feeling was mutual).

43 months.

maya @ 43 months :: june 4, 2009

• participated in her first "talent show," two dances for parents' night at her preschool. she danced to "99 red balloons" by blondie + "rollercoaster of love" by the ohio players. when rupert found a youtube video of "99 red balloons" afterwards, maya stopped what she was doing and immediately started dancing to the music.
  
• slept through her first semi-major earthquake. she experiences the second one (a couple of days later) at school; she got a nice lesson on dropping and crawling under a table. the earthquake doesn't seem to phase her much.
• no longer pretends to be a cat. instead, she crawls around on all fours barking. i wonder what animal she'll be next?
• caught her saying "jesus!" when she made an exciting discovery. (i can't remember her exact wording, but it was something akin to, "jesus! i like those stickers!") i had to somehow explain to her that it wasn't a bad word to use, but it wasn't the right word to use either. i blame rupert because i would never take the lord's name in vain, even though i'm not christian.
• opens the fridge in hopes of reaching the bottle of "pori pori" (probiotic pills).
• her drawings of people now have eyeballs and torsos are becoming an option.
• caught her first real cold (i.e., lasting longer than 24 hours).
  

42 months.

maya @ 42 months :: may 4, 2009

• when we used the compost for planting our garden, maya discovered the wonders of the earthworm. she digs them up from the compost and carries one around the backyard. she continues to try to bring them into the house, but the threat of the earthworm's demise convinces her to return the worm to the earth.
• her people drawings now have more hair, appendages sticking out of the head, and more details like eyelashes. i suspect she'll start drawing torsos very soon.
• there's been improvement on writing her name. if she gives herself enough room she spells her name correctly in capital letters, but if she runs out of space she puts the last "a" in front of the "m" so she becomes "amay."
• she's a pasta-freak.
• she had a good time at her "boyfriend" domenic's birthday party. apparently, domenic threw a fit when he found out maya's invitation went to the wrong girl. good thing rupert was willing to take her to the party at the last minute instead of going to the festival of books with me and ian.
• she says she wants to cut her hair like mine but i wonder what would happen if we actually took her to a haircut place?
• she's finally completely potty-trained! no more accidents! and wakes up on her own in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom! yay!

41 months.

maya @ 41 months :: april 4, 2009

• is really getting into the powerpuff girls dvd. she would totally shake her booty during the song between episodes. she doesn't seem to like mojo jojo very much.
• to delay bedtime even more, not only does she come out of her room at least twice to go potty, but she insists that she's scared of "bears, ghosts, witches, and mojo jojo." i have to tell her that the mommy bear, mommy ghost, and mommy witch have sent their kids to bed already and maya is the only one still awake and she better get her butt into bed.
• she's cutting with scissors quite well now. but i have to remember to tie her hair back when she uses scissors so she doesn't accidentally snip off some of the hair that's dangling in front of her face like she did the other day.
• loves to sing songs. now that i've lifted my own ban of singing to her in english she's really gotten into "old mcdonald had a farm." she also makes up songs, although the lyrics usually consist of her repeating one word (maybe two) over and over again [see below].
• identifying letters everywhere we go; a good sign that eventually she will, in fact, learn to read despite our earlier worries.
• got a new pony stuffed animal while we were staying in ojai. she named it "beauty" all on her own -- it's black.
• loves her friend domenic at school. so much that she sings a song about him incessantly if reminded about him at home. the song is just her repeating "domenic" over and over again in a semi-melodious way.
• so happy that her uncle aaron and auntie anne visited for grumpa's 60th birthday.
• she still whines but i think she's getting better. i truly believe it's helping that i'm interacting and parenting in a much calmer way. i rarely raise my voice at her and i try my best to explain everything to her in a clear and simple way. she responds positively to this and seems to be making an effort to follow my directions. now, her relationship with rupert, on the other hand ...
• but there are days when she is very liberal with her out-of-the-blue "mama, i love you!"s, which does make my day.
• drawing people with bodies (a line) and, on occasion, arms, but still no legs.
• loves animals (cats, especially) and is enjoying looking at her animal encyclopedia and identifying the ones she knows.
• when rupert pulled out the chinese take-out menu she immediately said she wanted, "chicken and bwok-li, and two rices." um, maybe we get take-out too often?
• her teacher said she has perfectionist tendencies, which really surprised me. i totally thought she would be more laid back and relaxed than ian (we're having some issues with him), but it appears she cares very much about her work being just right. the poor kids take after me ... on the bright side, her teacher did say she's doing quite well in most other areas of her school work. this particular teacher calls her maita, which is so cute and true!
• potty training is definitely not complete :: she'll go quite a few days withouth an accident and then she'll have several days of accidents in a row, especially while she's sleeping. we just have to keep working at it.
• she has a thing for wednesday; maybe she just likes to say it?

40 months.

maya @ 40 months :: march 4, 2009

• after she watched the monsters vs aliens trailer (on the kung fu panda dvd) she started saying, "suuuuusan ... oh, i scare myself!"
• when singing the ABC song, she repeats "k -- lmnop" a lot
• drawing faces and continues to color a lot. learning to trace her name at school; sometimes it comes out "moyo" or "moya."
• likes to pretend she's a cat. she also mentioned she wanted to bring the stray cat in the backyard into our house and keep it ... and hug it.
• randomly told me, "i don't like you" while we were shopping at the supermarket. when i asked her why, she told me, "you're awful." gee, thanks.
• while brushing her teeth with rupert she told him, "i hate this!" which is weird because she usually likes to brush her teeth.
• the two points above, we think, are preschool classmate influences.
• likes to do "where is thumbkin?" but misses about half the song.
• another thing she learned from a friend (we think) :: crossing her arms and stomping her feet. great.
• hopping on one foot.
• her friends call her "my-my" at school.
• loves to blow dandelions. this love is making our already dandelion-infested front yard into an even more dandelion-infested lawn.
• she actually said she didn't like the little mermaid dvd. hallelujah! but we'll have to see how long that lasts.

39 months.

maya @ 39 months :: feburary 4, 2009

• beginning of the month :: adjusting to preschool life. i can't say she wants to go (she's happy on the weekends when we tell her it's not a school day) but she goes without resisting ... most days.
• end of the month :: very rarely complains about going to school, and even asks to go on the weekend. even if she does wake up complaining about going to school, by the time i've gotten dressed for work she wants to get dressed and go to school too. she likes to get her hair done by her teacher, who does a much better job than i do. i've also gotten compliments on her behavior and how she's so good at cleaning up without being told. i did not know who the teachers were talking about. it worries me slightly that when i go to pick her up she often has to hug one of the boys from the 4-year-old class.
• her potty training is coming along; most days she doesn't have an accident. some nights she doesn't pee, other nights we change sheets totally bleery-eyed. but she still needs to learn how to use the right amount of toilet paper; sometimes she can't tear it off at the right place and ends up putting in a quarter of the roll of TP into the toilet!
• had a great time when her auntie L babysat while rupert + i went out for a few hours with our friends.
• loves to color. i made the mistake of complimenting her on how well she stays in the lines and now she gets a little upset when she doesn't. hmm ... i wonder where she gets that ocd from?
• she's no longer allowed in ian's room; we keep finding her in there raiding ian's sticker stash and also cutting them up with scissors on occasion.
• learning to clean up her room on her own a tiny bit better.
• her abc's are coming along but counting is still a challenge. she seems to always skip "3," even though she's three years old. when she does remember "3" she seems to forget all of the numbers that come after it.
• she's embracing "real" shoes (i.e., not crocs) and cute, colorful socks.
• she won't sit long enough to watch more than 10 minutes of her brother's basketball games, which means i don't get to watch more than 10 minutes of ian's games.
• she is quite the little charmer :: she got complete strangers to read her a book in the children's section of barnes & noble.
• grammar is not her strong point :: we hear a lot of "i is bossy!" and "i is rude!" around here.
• her favorite snack is dried mangoes from TJ's.
• her version of "are we there yet?" is "are we home now?"
• when we walk to school i noticed that she jumps over the cracks in the sidewalk. i'm grateful she does not want to break my back.
• her favorite movie characters :: tai lung and darth vader. and who does she want to be when she grows up? darth vader, of course. why? because "he fights and he's strong." zhoo-oom, zhoo-oom (my feeble attempt at making lightsaber sounds)!
• she calls pony tails "pony ride"
• her uncooperative conversational skills have already begun :: "what did you do at school today?" "i don't know."
• her favorite colors are pink and purple (no surprise). she often colors entire coloring pages purple or pink.
• we are seriously getting worried about what kind of teenager she's going to grow up to be. at the rate she's going we'll have a delinquent on our hands. just the other day i had to scold her because she colored all over her stool and the coffee table. i told her if she did it again i would take her crayons away. sure enough, the next day, i'm walking past her room and she tries to slam the door in my face, a sure sign she's up to no good. i go in and she's colored all over her floor. i tell her i'm very upset with her and take away her crayons. she starts to cry and claims she's tired so she wants to take a nap. fine. i leave her in her room, but notice sometime later that she's in the bathroom, washing her hands. for a long time. i yell towards the bathroom (why get up when you can yell?) to turn the water off. she yells back that she's still washing her hands. i go in and she's vigorously scrubbing her hands. wouldn't you know, if i take away her crayons but leave a ballpoint pen in her room she'll use that to write all over her hands. clearly, my fault. i take away the pen and go to assess the damage in her room. that's when i notice she's peed her pants. i guess the running water made her go. but she was too busy trying to scrub away the evidence of her actions to stop and use the toilet. needless to say i was not a happy camper that day.
• speaking of pee, i have to keep reminding her to "pee down" (i.e., sort of lower her behind into the toilet) or else her shi-shi shoots out of the toilet ... on to me.
• she's actually attempting to write her name by herself (see scribbles on picture above). she's also beginning to draw faces. she can also spell her name. i'm thrilled that school is really helping her academically; it's more than i managed to accomplish in three years. she's showing much more interest in letters and reading :: she points out letters while we're driving along and asks how to read words. when she wants to be read to but we can't at the moment and tell her to look at the book by herself, she always says, "i don't know words!"
• she randomly likes to say, "mama, i love you" or "mama, i like you," which is nice and all, but i can't help but feel she's practicing for, "mama, i love you ... can i [insert ridiculous request here]?"
• she can "sing" the imperial march from star wars.
• one of her favorite books is chicka chicka boom boom.
• when we do go to ian's basketball games she likes to hang out outside and do defensive sliding drills.

a new chapter in maya's life

the day has finally arrived :: maya started school this week. last friday night i was kind of a mess, worrying about how she'd do.

day 1 :: ian + i dropped her off at school

it figures she would pee just as we arrive to pick her up!

day 2 :: ian + rupert were going to take her to school since rupert doesn't go onto campus on tuesdays this quarter. when he mentioned she'd be going to school, she slapped her forehead and said, "a-gain?" rupert worried for a second that she was already starting with the "i don't wanna go to school" routine, but when he explained to her that we all now go to school each day, she easily agreed, "okay, let's go!"

day 4 :: the crying begins. i miss it because i have to be at work a bit early on thursdays. i'll let rupert's email to me later in the day describe what happened.

After you left Maya went on-and-off crying about not wanting to go to school. The compromise was that we took Ian to school first and then I took her to school. Another thing that helped calm her was that I let her wear a pull-up instead of underwear, and I didn't make her wear socks. I tried to avoid any "you have to [wear underwear, wear socks, etc.] to go to school" statements. [rupert got in trouble with the director for letting maya wear the pull-up -- the kids have to be completely potty-trained to go to this preschool.]

Oh, and I printed out a few pictures of the family for her to take to school.

By the time we actually go to her school she was in a better mood. She started getting sad when I first tried to say goodbye and then she took me to the bathroom. She went to the bathroom just fine, although the toilet does flush before she can wipe and get the toilet paper in.

When I tried to say goodbye for the second time I gave her the family pictures to hold. Then one of the other girls came over to look at what she had and Maya was like, "This is my brother. This is my mama." It was cute and I was able to leave.

So I think she's fine. Although I get the feeling she misses dropping Ian off at school. All the girls were there playing with her and I think that's what cheered her up. Dropping Ian off at school was probably the thing she looked forward to the most each day and now that she goes to school we took that away. So I'm thinking that maybe on Tuesdays and Fridays we can take Ian to school first and then take Maya to school.