Happy 14th birthday!

Happy 9th birthday!

Day 13 :: Thankful for ...

... my son. Happy 13th birthday, Ian! You are a great kid and you've certainly made being your parents a pretty easy job.

(Guess what his favorite food is!)

Day 8 :: Thankful for ...

... my sisters who are great aunties. My big sis sent Maya some animal cake pops for her birthday.

what?? he's a tween?!

according to my parenting magazines, i'm now the mother of a tween. how did that happen? somehow eight years went flying by and my baby is a full-fledged boy with a capital "b". day by day he grows more independent and he's becoming his own person.

he's a fantastic big brother, although there are times when we hear a lot of yelling back and forth between the kids. he's an observant, bright kid, but he has his totally oblivious, "hello? are you on planet earth?" moments. he's well-behaved and mild-mannered, but he hasn't quite outgrown his only child, self-centered habits. we love him to bits, but he's a work-in-progress. no, i take that back. we, as his parents, are a work-in-progress.

i realize, watching him, that our nurturing is so crucial in these formative years. sure, by nature, he's a wonderful kid who will, no doubt, grow up to be a wonderful adult. but, as his parents, we need to set the example so that he can be a better adult than if he were left to his own devices. everyday is a new opportunity for us to be the best parents we can be so he can be the best kid he can be.

in some ways i feel bad for him, as i do with all first-born children, because they are the guinea pigs. mom and dad keep trying to figure things out, year after year. we mean well, really, we do, but we're bound to make mistakes. so, i apologize to ian for screwing up over and over again. and i'll probably keep on making mistakes even though i don't mean to. and, because he's a swell kid, he'll put up with me and rupert. thanks buddy! now, promise me you won't go crazy when you become a teenager.

happy birthday to my little girl

it's kind of weird to think that this little being has been in our family for three years. it seems like the longest and shortest three years of my life. no doubt she challenges my patience and often brings the worst out of me, but it's true that she's also made me appreciate the job of parent so much more and i've become more introspective because of her.

i love her (even when i want to strangle her!) and am so looking forward to watching her grow up into a little lady (hopefully a more cooperative little lady).

happy birthday, maya!

gotta keep running

for my birthday my step-sis, D, really went all out and got me a nike+ and pitched in for a nano. she's been so supportive of my running and this shows it!

as much as i love the shuffle rupert got for me, i really love the nano since i can have more than one playlist on it and the display is great. the nike+ is super neat, too :: it keeps track of your runs (distance, time, calories) and then you can upload it to the nike site to see how you're progressing.

now i'm just waiting for the armband i ordered off of ebay to come so i can go for some nice long runs.

32, but who's counting?

lots of weekend trips for us lately. this time around? good ol' san francisco.

at the last minute we asked our friends if we could head up there for the weekend. last time we were there we stayed with J+J but this time our friend MZ offered up his place near haight-ashbury since he and his sister would be out of town. we had a whole apartment to ourselves, which worked out great.

we arrived on thursday night and had dinner with J+J at park chow near their house (a few years back we went to chow in the castro with them too). after some post-dinner wii-ing, we headed over to MZ's apartment to get some much-needed rest (my allergies were really bothering me all day).

we woke up to a lot of fog on the fourth. i went for a run along the panhandle towards golden gate park in the morning and came back pretty wet from the very misty fog. the weather was pretty cold and gloomy the entire day, unfortunately. made for a very odd fourth of july; i'm used to sunshine and beach weather. (come to think of it, the last time we were in sf for the fourth in 2005 it was pretty darn cold too.) lunch was at burma superstar in the richmond. the tea leaf salad and the pumpkin pork stew were quite tasty; the salad in particular has a really unique taste and texture.

afterwards we headed to the legion of honor for a hike down the trail near the water. maya and i made it down el camino del mar but since we had the stroller we opted to wait back at the car. good thing, too, since the trail ended up having a lot of stairs (222 in one set alone, according to ian). sadly, that meant maya and i missed the nude guy walking around on the beach. nudists i understand, but who walks around butt-naked in weather like that?? rupert was not kind enough to bring back photos of the big naked man.

dinner was an impromptu bbq back at the apartment. i was already in a it's-my-birthday-and-i'm-not-gonna-lift-a-finger mode so i sat around on MZ's very comfy two-seater couch and read stiff by mary roach. very morbid and entertaining. in fact, it was so entertaining that while the rest of the group (a couple of other people joined us for dinner) watched air force one ('cause it's patriotic?) i went into the bedroom and kept on reading.

after staying up until an ungodly hour reading, i woke up nice and early with the kids. just like last year, i let rupert sleep in on my birthday and spent the early morning feeding the kids and watching tv. thankfully the weather started clearing up and by the time we made plans with J+J to go to the ferry building it was quite sunny out. lunch was at the primavera stand since there was no way we were getting into the slanted door (my first choice for a birthday meal) without a reservation. no biggie since i really enjoyed the ceviche tostada i ordered. sure, it was $9.50 but i felt like it was well worth it. (and, heck, it was my birthday.) i had a bite of ian's pork tamale and that was good too. it's just too bad the famous chilaquiles were already sold out.

since it was saturday the farmers market was going on and it was so fun to see all of the great stands and taste the sweet fruit (have you had a candycot before? yum!). i even saw a wild boar leg being sold and it reminded me of the hunter/gatherer section of michael pollan's omnivore's dilemma. what wasn't so great was the price of everything. crazy expensive; i was going to buy some strawberries for the long drive home but balked at the $3.50 per basket price.

what i really like about a place like the ferry building is that almost everyone around you is a foodie. they share the same love of food that you do and the same fascination with interesting ingredients. J+J and rupert decided to make pasta for my birthday dinner after i picked up a package of ink squid dry pasta from italy.

later in the afternoon we headed to the de young museum to see the dale chihuly exhibit. unfortunately, by the time we got there the special exhibit tickets were sold out. we had to settle for the not-as-impressive-during-the-day chihuly saffron tower sculpture in the museum's garden of enchantment. after a stroll through the golden gate park botanical garden we walked back to the apartment and took a little break before dinner.

i got to sit around while a wonderful dinner was prepared. the garlicky squid ink fettuccine was served with really plump mussels and tasty clams on top. i'm used to squid ink pasta sauce, which is much brinier in flavor than squid ink pasta. although it might look scary because it's so black, the squid ink dry pasta doesn't taste fishy at all.

before heading home on sunday we had brunch at squat and gobble in haight-ashbury. i had the strawberry blintz crepe, which was good but had a bit too much ricotta in my opinion. ian had belgian waffles and maya inhaled part of rupert's omelette. we are beginning to notice more and more that the kids are eating like real people lately, which means they are starting to cost us more. darn kids!

after a weekend of lots of eating, rupert drove us home amidst end-of-fourth-of-july-weekend traffic. i am thankful to him for taking us up there for the weekend and really looking after the kids so i could enjoy my birthday weekend. thanks honey!

playing catch-up ... again

i've been meaning to blog for awhile now and just haven't had the chance to sit down and compose something. in the meantime i forgot everything i wanted to write. ugh. old age is slowing me down!

rupert "celebrated" his 32nd birthday last monday (he's not particularly thrilled to be well into his 30s). my gift to him was this poster i've been eyeing for awhile (it's made its rounds on the crafty blogosphere). with the added stress of school and work -- and dealing with a crazy maya -- i thought this would be a great mantra for him (and me) to follow. it's an old british world war II propaganda slogan. you can buy it online through u.s. distributors but i got it from england (barter books) for much cheaper. once it's nicely framed we'll put it up in our living room in place of the art canvas i got for our dating anniversary last year.

let's see ... my fitness challenge is going well. i think i left off with the week 4 weigh-in and since then i've continued to lose weight each week (except for this past week when my weight didn't change). in total i think i'm down about 6 or 7 pounds, which is more than i hoped for. i know i keep saying this, but i'm not too concerned with the number on the scale. i'm concentrating on incorporating and sustaining healthy habits that will stick with me for the rest of my life. and i'm well on my way :: i work out for at least half an hour six days a week and i eat smaller portions of healthier foods. just another month left of the fitness challenge but i know i will be sticking to my exercise and eating routine.

the camera finally came back ... fixed! we missed it so. we were reveling in the glory of not having anything broken in our house when -- you guessed it -- something else broke. our beloved television wouldn't turn on (it's only two years old!). this is a big deal because we are a huge tv-watching family. at the very least, we need (yes, need) the tv to play the wii and ps2, and maya cannot go a day without watching a movie. the repairman came yesterday and quoted us $800 without even opening the back of the tv! rupert and i think it's the fan (it's been whirring like crazy lately) so rupert cleaned it and it's working ... for now. we're keeping our fingers crossed.

then, a city inspector came by yesterday and cited us for not having mowed our lawn. sure it's overgrown and yellow with dandelion flowers, but we were just enjoying the greenery the recent rains brought us. ;) we suspect one of our elderly neighbors, who always complained to rupert about the state of our yard, "reported" us to the city. so much for the "city of good neighbors" (our city motto).

to top it all off, rupert and i are fighting off colds. what a week!

s*e*v*e*n

no wonder i feel old ... ian is now 7! how did that happen? the little boy i thought would always be my baby is not really that little anymore. he's at that age where he's almost independent but he still needs his mama to be in the background ... just in case.

i think most parents are sad and reluctant to let go of their maturing children, but i'm eager for ian to find himself and become self-confident. i admit i was a helicopter parent during his younger years and, combined with his sensitive and cautious nature, he's grown up to be remarkably similar to me :: thin skinned, hypersensitive to criticism and errors, and easy to cry. these traits won't serve him well as he grows up so, lately, i've been trying to toughen him up a bit. i want him to live life to the fullest. that's what i'm working towards in the coming year. i hope he's receptive to my new parenting goal.

i really have very little to complain about. we are blessed to have him as our son, and there's no greater compliment than when our friends only have good things to say about him and continue to invite him over to their house. he's sweet and sensitive, gentle and serious, inquisitive and smart, fun-loving and hardworking. and what a great big brother he is! i hope he knows that, no matter what, we love him dearly.

happy birthday, ian!

bowling birthday "party" with his buds A and A

another year older ...

happy birthday to me! i'm 31 but i don't feel any different than i did a year ago or even five years ago ... i'm still the same tired, cranky, lazy person i was then!

my birthday is my favorite day of the year :: it's all about me, baby! (although i'm sure some people are wondering, "are there any days she doesn't act like it's all about her?!") although i would've liked to have slept in, rupert didn't get up when maya did so i spent some time feeding the kids and watching tv with them. after rupert woke up we headed to the pool and splashed around for awhile. i got an oreo smoothie poolside (a real luxury for me since they cost $5 each) and i took a nap in the afternoon. while rupert took the kids to the putting green i headed out to the scrapbooking store and bought some new paper to add to my collection. what a joy it is to shop by myself, calmly and unhurriedly. because i could take my time i didn't overspend, which is what i usually end up doing because i'm just throwing stuff into my basket left and right without really contemplating whether i need it.

in the evening rupert and i went out to dinner at johannes in palm springs while my parents watched the kids back at the hotel. we had a delicious, quiet, leisurely meal, followed by a walk through the street fair. when we got back the kids were asleep and i spent some time scrapbooking.

i got to do so much just for myself ... what a great way to start off a new year in my life!

happy birthday R!

1. self-portrait + observatory, 2. my sign, 3. the observatory opens up, 4. she's running on air, 5. not worth the price of admission ..., 6. ian + hollywood sign (waaaaay in the back), 7. group shot, 8. the orbits of the planets, 9. the birthday boy + oregon friends
saturday was my friend R's birthday. to celebrate we went to griffith observatory. i hadn't been to the observatory since high school so it was pretty neat to go back, even though it was during the day and we didn't see stars. but it was a gorgeous day so we spent a good deal of time outdoors. it was an ideal way to spend a spring day in los angeles.

our friends B+S were in town after finishing the aids/life cycle so they joined us for dinner at lares. B+S's arrival was supposed to be a surprise but A (R's wife) managed to spill the beans. tsk, tsk A! ;) it was nice of them to join us, especially since they were exhausted after a week of helping out as crew members for the ride.

maya was super cranky at dinner so that part wasn't particularly enjoyable but i'm so glad we were able to spend some quality time with R+A. they're moving away to atlanta in august and we are going to miss them so much. but it's a good excuse to visit atlanta for some de-lish southern grub!

after all these years ...

i've been friends with J since high school. but we knew each other when we were younger :: we were kindergarten classmates until i moved away. to think that we've been celebrating each other's birthdays for close to half our lives blows me away. have we really been friends for over 15 years? are we really that old??



yesterday we celebrated J's 31st birthday at the park i played at as a kid. it's weird to now bring my own children to this park and celebrate with friends who i've known for so long. in some ways it makes me feel old but at the same time it takes me back to my younger years.

happy birthday, J! i'm so glad we get to celebrate the happy times (and boo the not-so-happy times) together! BFF ;)

rupert's 31st

my darling husband had his 31st birthday over the weekend :: mounds o' meat and singing without the kids on saturday and dinner with family on sunday. i don't think he was particularly looking forward to turning 31, but i think he had a pretty good birthday. [correct me if i'm wrong, rupert.]

we headed out to manna in koreatown with friends and some of rupert's coworkers. [apologies to the vegetarians out there for the meat picture.] we normally inhale quite a bit of meat (it's all-you-can-eat) but we only finished off two plates. very disappointing. not to place blame, but i think it was because we had two vegetarians at our table.

because the kids were with jiji + baba for the night i knew we would probably head out for some much-needed socializing after dinner. our friend H guided us to orchid, a karaoke place down the street from manna. four hours and $300+ later we emerged hoarse-voiced, slightly buzzed and tuckered out ... except for party-pooper me who had zero drinks and sang zero songs.

rupert satisfied some of his wannabe rock star urges by singing tons o' songs and bouncing around. we had some really good singing going on, including a lovely serenade of "happy birthday sweet sixteen" by the guys for rupert, too many (in my opinion) bon jovi songs, a hilarious pirate-version of "piano man," and rupert's and H's standard, "ebony and ivory."

on surviving one year

having one child makes time pass quickly. having two children makes the time go by in the blink of an eye. i'm having a hard time believing that we've had maya in our family for one year.

i have whined and complained a great deal this past year (even more than usual). the adjustment from having a fairly self-sufficient, well-behaved boy to having a demanding, crazy baby girl was more than i could take on some days. i had doubts constantly about whether i made the right decision to expand our family.

but things must happen for a reason because, upon reflection, the past year has changed me in some ways ... hopefully for the better. i'm not necessarily a better parent by any means; i'm far less involved with my children than most parents are. and i'm not necessarily a better homemaker either; the chores still pile up and i don't accomplish much on most days. regardless of my lack of progress on these two fronts, however, i feel more balanced.

"find balance in your life" seems to be the mantra for the modern mom. it would be wonderful if we could achieve complete balance, but it's pretty darn close to being impossible. yet, modern moms try and try and try to achieve balance in everything they do, often at the expense of their own sanity. perhaps we try too hard and add more pressure, all in the name of "finding balance." at some point in the last year i gave that up. and you know what? i feel like i'm more balanced because in the back of my mind i don't constantly hear, "do this, do that, accomplish more, be more to more people, etc. etc." as a result, i'm not driving myself crazy when i don't finish everything on my to-do list, when i skip a day (or two or three) of cleaning, when i decide i'd rather read than make dinner. i'm happier, more rested, and more willing to do those chores when i find an extra minute or two. and, as often as i feel like i'm just going to lose it, i don't.

the last year has taught me to see the bigger picture. sure i have lots of bad days, but i just tell myself, "this too shall pass." and it does. i'm learning to see past the minutiae of every last gosh darn thing and embrace the imperfections of life. it's always been part of my personality to dwell on the negative of the past; minor, trivial things would haunt me forever. i was holding myself back from seeing the joy in today and the potential of tomorrow.

having maya in my life reminds me everyday that being a parent is the toughest job in the world. what could be more important, demanding, and agonizing than trying to raise a decent human being? are we making the right choices? what more can we do? but then i look at maya, and all she wants is to be loved; for us to smile at her, roll the ball around for her, feed her, take her outside for a walk, and sing to her. and is that difficult? nope. just doing those things will probably help her to become a decent human being more than teaching her the alphabet, moving to a neighborhood with a good school district, or signing her up for tons of classes. i realize those things could help her future, but the fundamental thing about being a good parent is to be there for your child(ren).

so, for the next year, and the many years that follow, that's what i'll try to do for maya and ian. it took me six years of being a parent to figure this out. and i honestly believe that i may not have realized this if i hadn't had a second child. for that, i'm grateful to my children: to ian for putting up with me (and my mistakes) for the last six years, and to maya for teaching me to be a better parent.