getting on my soapbox

i normally wouldn't do this, but i've been thinking a lot about prop 8 and i just couldn't not say anything. as i drive around my neighborhood and see all the "vote yes on 8" lawn signs i get this gut-wrenching feeling that's a mixture of disgust, anger, and sadness. i can't articulate very well why it makes me so upset but i'm gonna give it a try ...

if you've watched the commercials, i'm sure you're aware that what no-voters are asking for is that all people be treated equally in regards to civil marriages. to be treated equally in the eye of the law, not in god's eyes. that's a whole other issue altogether. whatever your religious beliefs, or your opinion on gay marriage, does it sincerely seem right to you that the law would discriminate in this way? the law, theoretically, does not discriminate against people because of their race, religion, gender, age, national origin, ability/disability -- characteristics that are inherent to us. to me, sexual orientation isn't any different than those other characteristics; it's a part of a person but it's not the entire person. yet, we're willing to flat out declare in the law books that it's okay to discriminate against gays (who are said to make up 2~7% of the population) because of one part of their lives.

not even a lifetime ago i would probably have been prevented from marrying rupert. after all, interracial marriage only became legal in 1967. i couldn't imagine not being able to marry simply because i was born with one skin color and the one i love was born with a different skin color. does my skin color have anything to do with my ability to love my spouse and honor my marriage vows? in the same vein, does a person's sexual orientation have anything to do with his/her ability to be a good spouse? i don't think so. it's silly and ridiculous that the prerequisite for marriage be that a penis and a vagina be involved.

if prop 8 passes we would be discriminating against people in this state solely on their choice of who they love. we would be perpetuating intolerance (because that's what it is) to future generations, telling our children that if you're gay you're treated differently and if you're not gay it's okay to treat gays differently.

what is a "traditional marriage" anyway? the definition of "traditional" is evolving and i would venture to say that most reasonable people in this country don't subscribe to what history and/or the bible considered traditional. we no longer have polygamy or levirate marriage and a husband doesn't consider his wife chattel. why would we then base legislation on some bible literalists who are selectively choosing which passages in the bible to follow?

i don't understand why we would even consider the religious beliefs of a portion of the population be made into law for the entire population. i'm not politically naive, but whatever happened to separation of church and state? i don't care what people believe privately and religiously (although i don't understand it) but i do care very much that their religious beliefs not be forced on the rest of us as law.

but putting aside religion and law, i have to think of the actual people this proposition would affect. i personally only know one gay couple, and i was lucky enough to attend their marriage ceremony in july. i cannot imagine taking that day away from them. taking the affirmation of their love away. taking their joy away. it makes me sick that some people are unremorseful about taking away that special bond of matrimony from gay couples who finally were able to marry. can you imagine going up to a heterosexual married couple and telling them, "your marriage is wrong and the law no longer recognizes you as married."? it would be unimaginable but people are willing, no, eager, to do exactly that to their fellow human beings. it's just not right.

please please consider what i've said and vote NO on proposition 8.

[edited 12.4.08 :: this video says it all.]

what i made for dinner :: quick sausage + mushroom lasagna

lasagna is such a great dish to fall back on when you need something relatively quick, easy, and hearty. the newest issue of bon appetit had a delicious-sounding recipe for quick sausage + mushroom lasagna so i had to try it out the next time i was in need of a dinner recipe that yields lots of servings (for leftovers, of course).

it's actually not so quick if you have to slice all of the mushrooms yourself; that slowed me down a bit. but the recipe itself is simple and the assembly is quick. and, boy, was it yummy. ian, of course, picked out most of the mushrooms but maya enthusiastically ate it all.

what i made for dinner :: chicken + sweet potato pot pie

it's the second week of october. you'd think the weather would start to cool down and the sweaters would get pulled out of the closet. nope, we're still enjoying the last vestiges of summer. so, in this heat it would be silly to start with the hearty, oven-baked dishes, but my body craves the food of autumn.

enter the chicken and sweet potato pot pie by ming tsai. i watch his show on pbs every once in awhile, which led me to his website recently. i found this recipe for an old favorite, but jazzed up with some ginger and chinese five spice. i also liked that it can be easily adapted for vegetarians (just take out the chicken -- duh!) without sacrificing on the flavor; the sweet potatoes really add something to the dish. the first time i made it i used yams, which made it turn out quite orange in color and too sweet in flavor. it's best to follow the recipe and use the lighter colored sweet potatoes. the sweetness is more subtle.

maybe i'm just slow, but chopping all the veggies took me some time; when i doubled the recipe for a party it took me half an hour just to chop the vegetables. and i had to cook down the mixture (after adding the heavy cream) for far longer than 25 minutes to reduce the amount of liquid.

a week in the life :: day 7 | sunday

see pictures from the week here.

• it's wonderful that a) ian keeps himself occupied when he wakes up, and b) maya sleeps in some days, like today (she didn't nap yesterday). i keep on snoozing until 8:30; rupert wakes up earlier and is reading for school on the couch while it's still relatively quiet in the house.
• spend the morning just hanging out on the couch, reading, and surfing the net. i was going to watch the snl biden/palin debate skit but realize i need to shower before ian's baseball game.
• rupert makes us a yummy lunch of leftover zankou chicken tortilla wraps. we hussle out of the house at 11:45 to make it to the field across town. this is ian's first game for the fall baseball league, which is not our local league. we were told to arrive an hour early, which we do, but we have no idea who to talk to or where to go. luckily, our local little league's president shows up and his son and ian are on the same team.
• the game goes alright, except that our kids are not used to the pitching machine or stealing bases. i think we lose (i miss the end of the game because i took maya to the playground) and i think ian is a bit bummed that he doesn't make a hit. but he had a great catch at first base for an out. his favorite position to play is pitcher, even if he actually doesn't pitch (he stands next to the pitching machine and catches the ball from the catcher). the game is long so we don't get home until close to 3.
• ian takes a shower, we eat some snacks, and then it's nap time for mama + maya. i read a bit more of my book and then fall fast asleep. when i wake up around 6pm ian is sorting laundry in the living room and rupert has gone to TJ's to find dinner. i hop online and take care of some pta business. commend ian for successfully sorting a huge pile of laundry and folding his own clothes. now that i know he can do this it will become parts of his chores.
• rupert makes dinner (korean bbq) so that we can eat our leftover kimchi. maya wakes up slightly cranky but seems pleased to eat salad. she perks up after that and is in a disturbingly good mood. we inhale a ton of meat and we manage to polish off a pack of korean nori. then it's time for fox's animation domination :: the simpsons, king of the hill, family guy, and american dad (which we normally don't watch but it's on in the background while we tap away at our laptops). the kids went to bed during family guy so it's just me + rupert hanging out on opposite couches. around 11 i im for an hour with my step-sis D through gmail. but by midnight we're all tired so we head to bed.

a week in the life :: day 6 | saturday

• another slow start to the day. i think it's getting to be that time of the year where it's so warm and cozy in bed i don't want to leave.
• got bit by a mosquito behind my knee yesterday at the sand dune and it itches like crazy. and it's swollen up.
• ian has a soccer game at 1 but i am completely knocked out with a tension/sinus headache. it starts to drizzle a bit so maya comes home and hangs out in the living room by herself while i continue to nap. ian comes back exhausted from the game ... and he made a goal. yay!
• we're supposed to head to the hometown fair but the weather's iffy and ian doesn't want to go and something that should be simple somehow ends up slightly complicated. in the end rupert + i drop off maya and my mother-in-law at the fair. ian stays with my father-in-law at their house by the beach. rupert + i are now free for the rest of the evening :: date night!
• dinner at daikokuya in little tokyo. our decision to eat there is influenced by the recent issue of la weekly. it's still fairly early but there's a wait; i tell rupert i'm going to pig out on noodles + gyoza. soooooo nice to slurp noodles uninterrupted, but i wonder why the noodles here are slightly chijiri and the same stuff i get at the market? i finish the noodles and savor the gyoza but find myself fuller than i used to be after polishing off a bowl of noodles. i fear my stomach is shrinking; rupert said that was a good thing. really?
• wander back to the car through japanese village plaza, browsing some shops along the way. since it's still pretty early (6:30ish) and we can't think of a single hipster thing to do in little tokyo/downtown, we head to borders near our house. order a coffee and walk around. i can pick up books and actually flip through them without having to worry about what maya is doing. consider buying something for my sister's birthday but i realize i forgot my weekly coupon. no shopping tonight.
• my question of the day :: could early man have pyromania if fire hadn't been discovered yet?and what's a cave man with ocd like?
• make it back to my in-laws' house to pick up the kids. maya had a great time riding the pony at the fair. ian had a mini pizza for dinner. it takes us awhile to leave because maya wants to take a walk with lucy, my in-laws' dog, which is their ritual. and then she insisted on having ice cream for dessert. i kill the time doing a sudoku, which i don't finish.
• after getting home, rupert puts the kids to bed. he wants to watch "forgetting sarah marshall" but i am engrossed with the internet. he turns it on anyway and i get engrossed with the movie. really cute and peter totally cracks me up (especially his dracula puppet musical). watch the special features too. and then off to bed.

35 months.

maya @ 35 months :: october 4, 2008

• at the beginning of the month, her diaper was not fitting right for some reason (i.e., her pee leaked frequently). at first we thought it was because we got some huggies (we usually use pampers), then we thought it was because her pampers were too small, but now that we've switched to bigger pampers and it's still happening, we're stumped. --> duh, she's just peeing more!
• likes to make herself dizzy by twirling around, running in circles, or spinning on her butt
• favorite movie :: harry potter (usually "harry potter and the sorcerer's stone")
• favorite game :: wii fit ski jump
• favorite animal :: elephants
• we made her cry when we told her not to eat her boogers because it's gross
• she can wash her hands by herself. she even drags the stool over to the light switch to turn the light on and off.
• back to playing with her friend julia, but now i have to swing by ian's old school (after dropping him off at his current grades 3-5 school) so she can have her mini-playdate each morning.
• i cannot seem to get rid of the fruit flies in our kitchen, and when maya sees them she says, "bug :: squish it!" as she claps her hands together.
• collecting rose petals in her basket purse, ziploc bags, and spongebob tin.
• hiding her hands behind her back when she's taken something or has something that she shouldn't have.
• after some playdates with more potty-trained friends she's been going to the bathroom more consistently :: "i NEED to go peepee!!"
• climbing into her crib (swings her legs over the front if it's lowered).
• likes to use colored pencils :: the other day she was "drawing" colorful lines on a piece of paper and when rupert asked her what she was drawing she replied they were all "mad people."
• got a hand-me-down (3-wheeled) scooter from our next door neighbors. she's really cute in her doggy helmet, kicking along the sidewalk ... until she runs into something.
• the dreaded "why?"s have begun.
• she's beginning to express fear more frequently :: "i scared" and she hugs herself. she's been sleeping fine in her room without a nightlight but now she occasionally complains about the dark. (ian having just recently stopped using a nightlight we are trying very hard not to get her to use one.)
• a clear sign that we need to cut down on the tv-watching :: "i like this commercial!"
• breaking bones and choking ... and she thinks it's funny.
• when she's got attitude we hear a lot of, "i know!" but when she's being cute she'll say stuff like, "oh, i got ya!"
• calls the iphone "debbie phone," since my step-sis has one.
• taking fewer and fewer naps ... boo!knows a few more letters (w, c, r, q); rupert has been working with her using flashcards.
• learned from somewhere that after you say, "trick or treat!" you get candy.
• i've caught her using my scissors, snipping pieces of papers into tiny pieces.
• she likes to assign "mama," "dada," "baby," and "niinii" roles to everything living (usually by size).

a week in the life :: day 5 | friday

• to make up for the two previous unproductive days, i get up at 5:30am to go to the sand dune. i'm supposed to meet my friends there so i head out to get there by 6. i arrive earlier than the others so i start my workout :: trudging up the sand dune. in the end i get up 11 times, which is the most i've done so far, and i wasn't even dripping sweat! i think i can do more. :)
• when i get home i print out ian's oral presentation paper and take care of some emails for the pta. rupert is nice enough to pack ian's lunch for me and get maya out of her crib so i can shower.
• ince maya, rupert + i are going to the zoo with some friends after dropping ian off at school, i pack some snacks and get maya ready. i walk ian to school and we arrive a couple of minutes before 9:20. ian's disappointed that we're going to the zoo without him but i'll think of some place to take him on monday when he doesn't have school.
• we get to the zoo and meet up with our friends D+P and their daughter D. we spend the next three hours enjoying the animals and the great weather (the temperature is finally dropping). i assign rupert photographer duties and he takes some great shots of the giraffes. my favorite animal of the day is the koala :: there's an especially active and adorable one. rupert's favorites are the orangutans (the baby was pulling and tugging on the male, and the mom had to drag the baby away).
• by the time we leave it's kind of late and we haven't had lunch yet. i worry that we won't make it back home in time to pick up ian so i text my friend Y and she agrees to get him for us. now we can enjoy our lunch withour hurrying. we head to zankou chicken at rupert's request and enjoy a quick meal of chicken with garlic sauce. we say bye to our friends and actually make it back home by 3:05. as we stop at the intersection in front of our house we see ian standing at the corner with his friend R (Y's son). perfect timing!
• maya fell asleep in the car so we leave her in there and i spend some time in the garage uploading the pictures from the zoo (i open the garage door so i can see maya in the car). i tag-team with rupert and he works on the computer for awhile. maya wakes up a couple of hours later and we head inside for rock band time! the three of us play for awhile, and then rupert heads to the kitchen to heat up some food for the kids. ian and i play and we really get into it. rupert says we're ridiculous. and you know what ian says in his best rocker voice? "why? are we ridiculous because we want to rock?!"
• finished watching "sicko." became a fan of tony benn. i always take what michael moore says with a grain of salt, even though i'm a liberal myself and generally agree with what he's trying to convey. still, it is sickening to think what lack of health coverage/care does to people and their families. i know other countries' socialized health care systems aren't perfect, but it made me wonder why so many americans resist the idea of helping others for the benefit of the greater good. i guess i'm more of a socialist than i realized??

a week in the life :: day 4 | thursday

• what's happening to me? i didn't get out of bed until 8:30! (i did get up at 5:30 ... again ... because maya was scared and i had to convince her to go back to sleep.) jump in the shower to wake myself up. no surprise, i didn't work out. i ask rupert, exasperatedly, to pack ian's lunch. i don't have time for breakfast so i grab half of rupert's bagel and throw some fruit into a bento box for maya.
• walk to school, noticing it's already pretty warm, even though it's supposed to be cooler today. head over to the other school and end up chatting until 11am with some of the other parents. the shade is nice and there's a bit of a breeze; seems like it actually will be a bit cooler today.
• get home and plop down on the couch to finish reading "bonk." give maya some snacks and let her watch tv. eventually i fall asleep ... and keep sleeping ... and keep right on sleeping. i don't eat lunch again.
• decide by 2 that i am in no shape to go tutor. i don't necessarily feel sick but i don't have the energy or the willpower to get going. call my mother-in-law to tell her she doesn't have to watch the kids. call rupert and leave a voicemail asking when he's going to come home.
• pick ian up at 3 and slowly make my way home. maya fell asleep in her stroller so i carefully put her in her crib. she wakes up, of course, but i tell her to nap and close the door to her room. am so tired but i have to send some emails for the pta meeting i can't attend tonight. i also catch up on reading blogs. ian finishes his homework and then types up his presentation (about the medal he got from the 5k) for tomorrow. must remember to print it out before tomorrow morning. finish "bonk" and start reading "the year of living biblically."
• turn the tv on and watch the vice presidential debate. maya has been chatting, whining, and finally crying in her crib so i retrieve her. when ian realizes that "the simpsons" isn't on he hightails it to his room where he finishes reading "diary of a wimpy kid." bring up "the reality-based community" blog to read liveblogging during the debate. part-way through the debate rupert comes home. he starts making dinner (ravioli) while listening to the debate. he and the kids eat but i pass (i do nibble on a few bites of maya's leftovers, though).
• i am no fan of palin's but i can understand her appeal to the republican base she's already captured; she performs much better than her katie couric interview (and i use the word "perform" intentionally). i feel biden answers more of the questions directly, and he's more knowledgeable about what's going on in the world. but we'll see how accurate both of their claims are once the fact-checkers get through with them. to lighten things up we watch last saturday's palin/couric skit from snl. i wonder if they'll do anything about the debate for this week's show.
• we watch a little bit of the show "hole in the wall" while the kids get ready to go to bed. such an absurd show; no surprise it's inspired by a japanese game show. after the kids are in bed rupert pops in "sicko," which we got from netflix. this is probably not the right movie to watch before rupert gets his surgery ...
• in 45 minutes i will be watching episode 2 of "spain ... on the road again." it'll keep me up longer than i want because i have to get up early (5:30am) to go to the sand dune. but it'll be worth it.

a week in the life :: day 3 | wednesday

• maya wakes up once around 6am but i convince her to go back to sleep. and since ian is early bird on wednesdays i decide not to work out today, which means i sleep in until 7:30 (it probably also has to do with my staying up late reading). force myself to get up since i still have to pack ian's lunch and get ready myself. while pulling out lunch stuff from the fridge i notice that there are fruit flies in the refrigerator. wtf? where are they coming from? i freak out, thinking they're breeding in the fridge, so i start throwing out old stuff and scrubbing some of the grimier parts. check the clock and i only have a few more minutes before we have to leave. maya barely wakes up in time for us to leave for school at 8:20.
• it is another hot day; i'm sweating just walking to school. by the time we get to maya's "playdate" at the other school i feel disgusting. only stay for a little while since it's hot and maya's little friend has to leave.
• get home and have a feeling it's going to be an unproductive day. blame it on the heat.
• maya hasn't eaten so i toast her a bagel (a new purchase by rupert :: TJ's sprouted wheat bagels). she is displeased with my decision to put cream cheese on her half of the bagel. i am forced to eat off the top layer of the bagel with the cream cheese. we watch "sid the science kid" on pbs, which we really like.
• head to the post office to mail a tagE*blankE order and wedding magazines for my future sister-in-law. i think i got a new postal employee because he tried to charge me over $6 to ship the blankE, which i know should only cost $2 to ship. set him straight.
• i am already exhausted and it's only 11am. plop myself down on the couch and continue reading "bonk," which i am totally engrossed in. feeling drowsy so i decide to take a nap, especially since maya is actually keeping herself busy.
• an hour later maya wakes me up because she's hungry. i feel too hot to eat anything but ask maya what she wants to eat. she doesn't want anything but carrots, so that's her lunch. i cut up a nectarine for myself but can't finish it.
• keep reading (my own book and a pokemon book for maya) until it's time to get ian at 2pm. the sun beats down on us during our brief walk. we get to school a few minutes early so i spot my friend L and chat with her about her new job. should've brought my sunglasses because i'm majorly squinting. i spot riley, our friend's dog, coming and maya is cautiously excited (riley is bigger than maya and he licks her face if given the opportunity).
• get the boys and head to the park, our wednesday tradition. my friend Y (R's mom) has a spot staked out in the shade under a tree. hang out for awhile until maya gets cranky and insists we go home. ian is enjoying a game of football with some of the other boys and i have to tear him away from the game. maya's crankiness gets worse when the football is thrown at her chest.
• walk home and get the kids to bathe. sadly, i don't get a turn in the shower. i am stinky. after ian does some homework we head to the local farmers market, our new wednesday afternoon routine, before heading to ian's french class. maya likes to go to the baker and get a free cookie sample. this week they only have banana bread and macaroom samples. the kids like the banana bread enough that we buy a loaf. i head to the two booths i always hit :: the organic stand for four ears of corn and the fruit vendor for apples and nectarines. i was going to complain that the grapes i bought last week had seeds even though i was told they were seedless, but i realize that the vendor might not know a lot of english. (today i ask him if we're getting to the end of nectarine season and he gave me a blank stare so i'm guessing he's not fluent. it would be helpful if i knew more spanish.) the kids are zigzagging around the various vendors eating free samples, which i feel slightly guilty about but not that much since it gets the kids to eat fruit. leave the farmers market without having spent too much money.
• head to ian's french class 20 minutes away. plead with maya to take a nap, even though it's 5pm already. she does not comply and lets out some ear-splitting screeches instead. after dropping ian off, maya asks to go to the pet store (it's in the same stripmall complex). we spend a few minutes looking at the furry critters but maya's real interest is in reptiles. she is delighted with the lizards (the snakes are sleeping) and i must admit i got a little excited when i saw the baby bearded dragon eat a live cricket. on our way out we run into our former rie teacher (who happens to be the mom of one of my close friends).
• there's still some time before ian's class ends so we hang out in the waiting room. this is where i realize maya actually knows more letters than i thought :: we're putting together an alphabet puzzle and she identifies some letters. and here i thought she didn't know anything. i guess there's still hope for her.
• by the time class ends it's 6:45pm so we pick up dinner at a chicken place i've been meaning to try. it's peruvian-influenced so i order lomo saltado for rupert, chicken fried rice and platanos for me, and a chicken sandwich for ian (with grilled onions, which is weird since he normally hates onions). it's tasty but on the salty side.
• we watch the season premiere of "pushing daisies." it is really a cute, clever, and colorful show. i sort of forgot to keep watching it last season but i can see myself getting into it.
• and my night ends the way it has for the last two days :: uploading photos and blogging about my day. and a "friends" rerun with a strawberry popsicle.

a week in the life :: day 2 | tuesday

• wake up at 6:45, 15 minutes later than i intended to. rupert is already up because maya woke up scared. find them on the couch watching "maya and miguel."
• eat maya's leftover red bean pastry and drink a glass of water (with my calcium and fish oil supplements) before heading out for a run. come back 22 minutes later (2 miles), very sweaty. maya is watching sesame street, dancing and singing along to ll cool j and elmo singing about an addition expedition :: add 'em up!
• take a shower even though i know i'm going to have to take another one in a few hours (after i play tennis with friends). get dressed and get ready to face the day :: packing ian's lunch, having a snack (nectarine slices and a danish), looking over ian's homework, checking my email, getting maya ready.
• same routine as always :: get ian to school by 9:20 and walk over to the other elementary school so maya can see her friend J. but today we head to the park to play tennis (me + maya, J + her mom T, our friends D+Y). it is a scorchingly hot day and we are sweating in no time. we play for 45 minutes until D has to go to work. maya wants to go on the swings so we head towards the playground. J convinces her mom that she needs to go on the swings too. end up staying at the park for another 45 minutes while the girls play. on the walk home notice that there are tons of termites flying around. must be the heat.
• get home around lunchtime but maya is filthy so i put her in the shower. she wants to hold the showerhead and doesn't get too upset when she squirts herself in the face with water. i give her lunch (turkey, carrots, apples, and cheese), turn on sesame street, and hop in the shower while she eats. i continue to be slightly disappointed that my dr. bronner's bar soap doesn't keep its lather while i wash my body.
• scarf down lunch of leftover korean noodles and bean sprout namul while i browse the cookbook club catalog. it's now 1 o'clock so maya and i head to the library (a one minute walk across the street). she picks orange flowers from our front yard while we wait for the light. i return "tunnels," pick up the books i have on hold ("bonk" and "the year of living biblically"), and find a few other books ("the wall" and "diary of a wimpy kid" 1 + 2 for ian). maya kicks off her shoes, pulls books from the shelf (which i forget to return to their rightful places on the shelves), and ends up at the pre-k/kinder computer before finding a video about animals.
• since i have to tutor in the afternoon i try to get maya to take an early nap. i read her a japanese book about pooping before depositing her in her crib. i lie down in bed to read "bonk." before i get too involved in the book i call my mother-in-law to make sure she can watch the kids while i tutor. get back to reading; i'm already loving it and i've only read 22 pages. but i need my daily nap so i close my eyes at 2:04. the phone rings a minute later. it's my bff in san francisco. we didn't get to meet up while she was down in la over the weekend so she calls to check up on us. chat for about 20 minutes. i don't have much time before ian gets out of school so i set the alarm for 2:47 and try to take a quick nap.
• wake up 15 minutes later. turns out i don't need the alarm. brush my teeth, pack up the car with the afternoon necessities, and wake up maya. she must've just fallen asleep because i can't rouse her. carry her to her stroller and walk to ian's school to pick him + R up. maya finally wakes up when i try to transfer her from the stroller to the car seat. we head over to grandma's house with all the windows rolled down because the car is hot. the wind makes maya's hair blow into her face and paper scraps fly around the backseat.
• drop the kids off at grandma's house and make a dash out of there (i like to be on the road by 3:30 to make it to my tutoring job). i have a few extra minutes so i make a pit-stop at boba zone and buy two large boba milk teas to take to tutoring. the girl i tutor, Y, has homework in language arts (the different types of nouns :: concrete/abstract, common/proper, and collective), science (the characteristics of all living things), and math (multiplication + division of negative integers). she forgot her social studies worksheet so she'll have to use her free homework pass tomorrow. finish at 6pm.
• drive to the japanese market on the way home. i was hoping a new comic book would be on sale at the japanese bookstore but no luck. buy two packs of my favorite rice crackers at the market. realize spending over $6 on rice crackers is absurd; must cut back on cracker consumption. in the parking lot try to get in touch with someone on my cell so i know where to go for dinner (it's rosh hashanah and we're supposed to have a family dinner). rupert calls me from home (after he misses my call to his cell) and we decide that i'll go home so we can drive together to his parents' house.
• on the drive home i anxiously watch my odometer as it nears the 100,000 mile mark. i get my camera ready and take a few test shots while it's at 99,999 miles. it hits 100,000 miles as i cross rosecrans avenue. prop my camera on the steering wheel and take a few shots of the odometer while keeping my hands on the wheel. make it home and it's still at 100,000.
• hang out with rupert for a few minutes on the couch. check my email on his laptop. as we're getting ready to leave we see that our bathroom and kitchen garbage cans are infested with fruit flies. yucky! we get the garbage out of the house as quickly as possible.
• dinner is salmon with noodle kugel and broccoli. the kugel doesn't turn out exactly as my mother-in-law hoped (the noodles on top are really crunchy), but it's good nonetheless. we talk about the economic "bailout" legislation with my father-in-law; it doesn't get heated but my fil is clearly unhappy that the legislation didn't pass. rupert + i feel something should be done but it shouldn't be rushed.
• after dinner rupert helps his mom figure out the bus line to downtown so she can go to jury duty, which she is not happy about. meanwhile, the kids watch tv with grandpa and have dessert. it's getting late (already past 9pm) so we change maya's clothes and get ready to go home. my mother-in-law reminds us to look up flights to chicago so we can attend a family wedding.
• once at home, i immediately turn on my laptop and start uploading the photos from today while rupert gets the kids ready for bed. blogging about my entire day takes some time and rupert is waiting for me to finish.
• end up reading in bed for another hour. rupert is conked out next to me. don't want to stop reading but finally relent since my eyelids are so heavy.

a week in the life :: day 1 | monday

to kick-start my creative scrapbooking juices i'm participating in ali edwards's a week in the life project. she used to teach this class at cku, and i would've taken it had i attended again. so i'm really glad she's taking us through the project.

pictures from this week
day 1 monday ::

• 5:15am :: got up before the alarm went off. surprisingly, rupert did too. groggily got ready to go to the gym. ian wakes up and i send him back to bed, "it's waaaay too early." microwave my current favorite hot cereal, tj's oats + flaxseed. read the second-to-last chapter of "tunnels" while i eat.
• remember to take my calcium and fish oil supplements.
• get to pattie's at 6am, wait around for a few minutes while listening to npr. realize i should've texted her last night to see if she was going to the gym. after five minutes i decide to go without her.
• do a 40-minute workout listening to the "rock band" playlist on my ipod. come to the realization that my arms are weak and my cardio endurance is low. must get back into shape.
• come home to find ian working out on wii fit. get a turn in doing the hulahoop. don't quite make it to 300 spins.
• pack ian's lunch and cut up a nectarine to eat as an early morning snack. finish reading "tunnels" (it's due back at the library tomorrow).
• rupert leaves for work/school. feed maya some cereal while we watch tv. send ian off to his room to read while i shower. get maya ready and leave for school at 9:10.
• after ian lines up maya + i slowly make our way around the block towards ian's old school so maya can play with her friend J.
• make it home by 10am. we're both hungry and, therefore, cranky. i make fun of rupert all the time that he gets nasty when he's hungry, but i'm finding that i act the same way. it doesn't help that i eat breakfast at 5:45; my blood sugar drops by the time 10 o'clock rolls around. we snack on my favorite japanese rice crackers. maya watches franny's feet.
• send some email (mostly pta and sleepyhead related), catch up on my blogroll at bloglines, read craft zine and serious eats, check flickr, and look at some new food blogs (noodle whore seems right up my alley).
• must get to the market before it gets too late. but first, off to costco to fill up on gas. spend $43.62 to fill 3/4 of a tank -- thank goodness i only get gas every 3 weeks or so. afterwards, hop on the 405 and go to freshia, the korean market i've been meaning to check out. it's cold inside and maya complains. try to placate her by taking her to the fish section. she asks to buy nori. good idea. besides groceries we buy some pastries at the bakery. maya is enamored with the pretty cakes; maybe we'll get one for her birthday. on the drive home chow down on a sweet potato pastry. maya enjoys most of her red bean-filled rice pastry.
• make it home an hour later. eat lunch (korean nori wrapped around rice, bean sprout pajun, and (spicy) soon dubu). so full i feel like barfing. take a short nap on the couch before it's time to pick up ian at 3pm. maya was kind enough to have an unchi diaper before we head out. she puts a sticker on her unchi calendar.
• on the walk to school join up with our neighbor M, who is also going to pick up her kid. maya is delighted that M has one of her pet rats with her; she always asks, "where mouse?" when we see M. pick up ian and R (ian's classmate) and head home. R hops into his mom's car and i chat with his mom about playing tennis tomorrow morning.
• when we get home i'm exhausted and nursing a tension headache. plead with yell at maya to take her nap. she's getting tired too so she fights it, but i know she needs it. at 3:30 read her "a color of his own" (actually, i do a half-ass translating job and describe the pictures to her in japanese). tell ian to do his homework and crawl into bed.
• i hear maya babbling for awhile but i can't get up. ian comes into my room after he finishes his homework but i tell him i'll check it later (which i neglect to do). he wanders off to play video games. i dose off again until i hear rupert get home.
• finally get out of bed around 5:30; rupert brings me headache medicine. hang out on the couch and catch up with rupert about our respective days. play with his new laptop and check my email. deb (my step-sis) signs in to chat. we complain about how stupid boys are. rupert helps me start getting dinner ready by boiling some eggs. then he takes ian to soccer practice and shoots hoops at the basketball courts for awhile.
• i chat a bit more with deb until she has to go to yoga. maya wakes up in a bad mood. only castella and a spongebob dvd makes the tears stop. after rupert comes back maya + i head out to go get ian (good thing practice is just across the street). maya takes this opportunity to run around and blow off some steam.
• after getting home i start making dinner :: korean naengmyon noodles with korean bbq, kimchi, bean sprout namul, sliced pear, and a hard-boiled egg. it's pretty good until about half-way through, when the meat starts to cool and the fat congeals. the inside of my mouth gets a bit waxy.
• nothing good on tv so we decide to play rock band :: ian's on guitar (as always), rupert starts off on mic and i play drums. after a couple of songs ian relinquishes the guitar to rupert and i sing. get 95% on hard singing "dirty little secret." stink at "are you gonna be my girl" (on hard) but get "most gutsy" anyway.
• rupert gets the kids ready for bed while i hop back on the laptop to work on this project.
• it's 11pm now and i'm almost ready to go to bed ...

what i made for dinner :: cheesy baked penne with cauliflower and creme fraiche

i was a tad disappointed with last month's bon appetit but this month's issue looks really promising. we're on the cusp of summer and autumn so i'm looking forward to using the remainder of summer produce in heartier recipes.

tonight we're going meatless :: cheesy baked penne with cauliflower and creme fraiche. meatless but not necessarily healthy. this dish is heavy on the dairy products, so i'm sure it's chock-full of calories and fat. while i made the sauce i had to blot the grease with a paper towel because there was a pocket of cheese/butter fat.

some notes ::

• active time (for me) was 45 minutes (plus 35 minutes baking time). i suggest grating the cheese and measuring the ingredients before the actual preparation of the dish. (and, no, i don't need reminding that prepping all the ingredients first is standard procedure.)
• i used broccoflower, which was tasty. whether you use cauliflower or broccoflower, be sure not to overcook it during the sauting stage; it's good to have the bite in the final dish.
• the recipe calls for 10oz of the penne. i used the whole bag (16oz) and i still had plenty of sauce to coat everything, and it baked up nice and cheesy.
• be liberal with the ground pepper; pepper gives it a nice contrasting flavor so you don't overload on the cheese.
• i skipped the breadcrumb crust on top because i was being lazy. in its place, to get a little bit of crunch, i sprinkled finely grated parmesan on top and after baking for 35 minutes i finished it off with a couple minutes under the broiler.
• definitely not a cheap dinner :: all the dairy ingredients begin to add up. but they're not hard to find ingredients. i was able to get everything at tj's.
• rupert and i had the leftovers for lunch the next day, and after microwaving the food we noticed a pool of grease. best to sop it up with a paper towel before digging in.

what i made for dinner :: zucchini frittata

many garden-blessed families usually encounter a problem during the summer :: what to do with the dearth of zucchini. thankfully (?) we are not one of those families. honestly, i'm not a fan of zucchini for the most part. i never request that my husband plant it in our garden, and if anyone tries to give us unload some on us, i politely decline.

but, on occasion, i get the urge to cook zucchini ... okay, okay, i admit it, i actually want to use my hand-me-down julienne slicer.

i picked up a few zucchini at the farmers market this week with the notion of whipping up an easy and quick frittata. i scanned a few recipes online and then got to work.

ingredients ::

• 3 medium zucchini, julienned (you can definitely use more)
• 1 small onion (we felt like more onion would've been good --> maybe bump it up to a medium onion? even a large one?)
• 1 clove garlic
• basil chiffonade (i used about 8 medium leaves, but use as much, or as little, as you like)
• 5 tablespoons parmesan cheese
• 8 eggs (if you like it egg-y :: ian liked it the way it was, rupert thought it could've used fewer eggs)
• 1.5 tablespoons butter
• olive oil
• salt + pepper

directions ::

1. julienne the zucchini into a bowl. sprinkle salt on it and gently toss; leave for 10 minutes to draw out the liquid.
2. in the meantime chop the onion and mince the garlic. in a separate bowl whisk the eggs with salt + pepper, the basil, and 4 tablespoons of the parmesan.
3. start sauteing the onion and garlic on medium high heat. here's the most important part :: take handfuls of the zucchini and squeeze out as much liquid as you can. i just dropped the zucchini directly into the pan after i squeezed it, and did that a few times until i got through all of the zucchini. turn the heat up to high and saute until just before caramelization begins but there's no liquid coming out of the vegetables. transfer the vegetables into the bowl you used for the zucchini. cool for a bit. add the egg mixture to the vegetables and combine well.
4. in the same pan, heat the butter until it bubbles. pour in the egg mixture and cook over low heat, uncovered, for 18~20 minutes. the middle will still be slightly runny but the edges should be cooked and browned.
5. sprinkle the rest of the parmesan on the frittata and put it under a hot broiler (mine was set on high) for a minute. when i checked on it half of it was browned nicely but the other side wasn't, so i turned it and left it in for another 45 seconds.
6. cool slightly before serving.

the omnivore's hundred

around the foodie blogosphere very good taste's omnivore's hundred meme is all the rage. now that i've seen it several times i figured i should see how many of the hundred i've had before.

here's what you do ::

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk/ linking to your results.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding (i had morcilla in argentina)
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart (you'd think that i would've had one since i lived in nyc once)
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (i'm not sure what the point of eating a scotch bonnet on its own is)
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi (although i prefer the mango version)
34. Sauerkraut (not a fan)
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea (seeing as i love cream tea, i think i would really like clotted cream tea; i must find this and try it)
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O (yes, even i have had a vodka jell-o shot; you can thank my friend MZ, mit frat boy)
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk [updated 2009] (we gave maya goat's milk while we transitioned from formula to cow's milk, but i never tried it myself)
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal (i would never eat one now, but i'm sure i had one in high school)
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine (i just learned about poutine recently while watching anthony bourdain's no reservations. i was kinda grossed out by it but intrigued too)
60. Carob chips (in a cookie)
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (this is basically dirt, so i don't see the reason to eat this either since i'm pretty sure i have all the minerals i need)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets [updated 2009], churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis (this is actually on my "to eat" list)
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings or andouillette (i like offal so this is something i'm ashamed to admit i haven't had yet)
71. Gazpacho (i like tomatoes but i don't really like gazpacho for some reason)
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill (unless i'm starving i think i will stay away from roadkill)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant (some day, when i go to europe, i will make myself a reservation at a three-star restaurant)
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

sixty-five out of 100 is not so good; i thought i would do better. since i don't drink alcohol a few of the items i haven't even thought of trying. but of the food items i haven't tried i am willing to eat most of them (scotch bonnet pepper, kaolin, and roadkill are the only things i wouldn't try; cigars are not food <-- doesn't count!). i think a trip to europe will help me check more items off this list. ;) let's see if i do better with just hungry's 100 japanese foods to try meme ::

1. Properly washed and cooked, top quality new harvest white rice
   (shinmai)
2. Freshly made tofu, as hiyayakko or yudofu
3. Properly made misoshiru and osumashi
4. Properly made homemade nukazuke (not a real fan of nukazuke, but i try it everytime my mom makes it)
5. Very fresh sanma (saury), sizzling hot from the grill, eaten with a
   drizzle of soy sauce and a mound of grated daikon radish
6. Homemade umeboshi
7. Freshly made, piping hot crispy tempura
8. A whole grilled wild matsutake
9. Freshly made sobagaki with sobayu
10. Mentaiko from Fukuoka, or tarako
11. Onigiri with the three classic fillings: umeboshi, okaka, shiozake
12. Assorted fresh-as-possible sashimi
13. Saba oshizushi
14. Mugicha
15. Kakifurai
16. Morinaga High-Chew candy, grape flavor
17. Karasumi
18. A pot of oden, preferably with homemade components especially
    ganmodoki, boiled eggs and daikon radish
19. Ika no shiokara
20. Calpis
21. Ankou nabe
22. Unadon
23. Komochi kombu or kazunoko
24. Yamakake, grated yamaimo with maguro (red tuna) cubes (or just with a raw egg)
25. Properly made gyokuro shincha
26. Milky Candy
27. Wanko soba
28. Omuraisu with demi-glace sauce
29. Handmade katayaki senbei
30. Yohkan (yokan) from Toraya (i'm not sure i've had it from toraya)
31. Ishi yakiimo - sweet potatoes cooked in hot stones, available from street vendor carts
32. Natto (definitely not a fan, but i can muster eating sauted natto with ground pork)
33. Fresh seaweed sunomono (can also have some tako in it)
34. Ikura or sujiko
35. Tonkatsu
36. Goma dofu
37. Chawan mushi or tamago dofu - the same dish either piping hot or ice cold
38. Freshly made mochi, with kinako and sugar, grated daikon and soy
    sauce or natto
39. Gindara no kasuzuke
40. Hoshigaki
41. Inarizushi
42. Chikuzen-ni
43. Surume
44. Yakinasu with grated ginger
45. Tamago kake gohan
46. Kabuki-age
47. Nikujaga
48. Spinach gomaae
49. Fuki no tou
50. Okonomiyaki
51. Yakitori
52. Ohagi
53. Japanese style curry, with rakkyo and fukujinzuke as condiments
54. Kenchinjiru
55. Yakult
56. Kakipea
57. Takoyaki
58. Sakura mochi
59. Buta no kakuni
60. Daigaku imo
61. Kappa Ebisen
62. Chicken tsukune
63. Hakusaizuke
64. Hayashi rice
65. Goya champuruu
66. Dorayaki
67. Ochazuke
68. Sakuma Drops
69. Stewed kiriboshi daikon
70. Takenoko gohan (or in fall, kuri gohan)
71. Cream or potato korokke
72. Fresh yuba
73. Real ramen
74. Monaka
75. Ekiben of all kinds
76. Edamame
77. Chicken karaage
78. Kuzumochi
79. Mitarashi dango
80. Konnyaku no dengaku
81. Yukimi Daifuku
82. Sukiyaki
83. Nama yatsuhashi
84. Panfried hanpen (i'm not sure i've had it panfried)
85. Nozawanazuke or Takanazuke
86. Kiritanpo
87. Amanatto
88. Narazuke
89. Aji no himono
90. Baby Ramen
91. Kobucha
92. Kasutera
93. Tazukuri
94. Karintou
95. Sauce Yakisoba
96. Kamaboko
97. Oyako donburi
98. Atsuyaki tamago
99. Kuri kinton
100. Japanese potato salad

much better! i guess that's not surprising since i grew up with this food and spent so much time in japan. there were four i hadn't had out right, and four that i have had, but not exactly as maki-san explained. (i think she's going to update the list with explanations and english names, in case you don't know what most of these foods are.)

i have to go through the 100 chinese foods to try meme next.

and i think i have a lot of eating to do ...

34 months.

maya @ 34 months :: september 4, 2008

• finally realized the piano can be played. she actually plays quite well and smoothly considering her pretty short fingers.
• calls herself "superman" ... she also calls spiderman "superman."
• took her to the body worlds 3 exhibit at the california sciencenter. when we stepped in and she saw the first skeleton she said, rather unconvincingly, "i scared!" she showed great interest in the plastinized digestive tract; i showed her where her food goes and how her unchi was stuck in her intenstine. since then she talks about gummy bears going through her tummy bones (she doesn't quite grasp the idea of organs) back and forth and coming out as unchi with a plop. she was also intrigued by the lecture i gave on how jiji's lungs are black like the cancer-infested lungs on display and hers were more white/pink. jiji's lungs are now bacchi (dirty).
• while we were watching who framed roger rabbit she kept referring to jessica rabbit as "little mermaid."
• the thing she says most often may quite possibly be, "sowwy [sorry] mama."
• fun at legoland with mama and ian. she really liked captain cranky's challenge, which swung us around all over the place, and the big lego elephant that shoots water out of its trunk.
• a few days in palm springs with my side of the family. we spent a lot of time in the pool. she also confirmed that she is a complete flirt; she was after my sister's boyfriend the whole time we were in palm springs.
• likes to eat korean nori (seaweed), wrapped around rice or all by itself.
• playing with D's iphone ... she knows how to access the photos, zooms in and out, and plays games. in fact, she was so into popping bubbles that she didn't notice D tickling her feet.
• although we decided to forget potty-training while she's dealing with her unchi issues, she's been pretty good about going potty on the toilet before bed.
• can pick things up (like puzzle pieces) with her toes ... just like her mama.
• she is getting into the bad, lazy habit of saying, "can't do it" without really trying. gee, i wonder where she got that defeatist attitude from?
• now that football season has started, maya is watching games with rupert and ian. for almost every play she yells, "touchdown!"
• says, "sure!" for answering in the affirmative.
• i went to get her from her nap and she had torn apart and completely obliterated her diaper, as well as peed in her crib. lovely.
• she loves having "shake shake" for dessert (vanilla ice cream with milk).
• she is turning into a girly-girl :: at our friend's house she was all about their daughter's princess crown and dress-up clothes (i.e., ariel costume and tutu).

round-up 08.2008

just simplifying my sidebar a bit ...

friends + family blogs ::

ALH :: my BIL's fiancee

blog-o-rama :: our college friend's wife

bs and our four legged kids :: my sb pal + financial planner

devin's chronicles :: grad school friend

dottie + her papas :: great family friends

eric umansky :: rupert's cousin + her fiance

the gourmet chronicle :: my best friend's food blog

jakariko nikki :: my best friend from japan who now lives in jakarta

jhr4phd :: rupert's blog about his phd life

jsc's blog :: college friend's daughters

the journey of finding .5 :: my step-sis, D

kumeeks :: family friend (in japanese)

minimalist orgy :: JB, a friend from college who i reconnected with via facebook

my little mochi :: craft + cute genius

suzanne in new york :: rupert's other cousin

ttsuai :: mama friend

when i feel like being a do-gooder ::

american forests

change the margins

donors choose

ginga arts

heifer international

kickin' cancer 5k

nothing but nets

the one campaign

stop global warming

transitpeople

going awol for awhile

you don't need to tell me that i've been neglecting the old blog. i even forgot that it was my 3rd blogiversary on the 10th. i can't believe i've been writing for three years when i wasn't sure i could continue it for three days.

so, where have i been? i don't think it would be on over-exaggeration to say that i am somewhere between identity crisis and the worst possible me ever, between self-loathing and self-pity. not a pleasant place to be. is it surprising that i'm feeling a bit depressed?

this summer has not been very kind to me. i'm not sure what exactly caused this negativity. i'm pretty sure it's a combination of things :: my own propensity for mild depression (not officially diagnosed but it seems pretty obvious to me ... and rupert), being around both kids 24/7, rupert's health issue, and feeling really uncertain about my role in life.

besides not knowing whether i should embark on a search for a career outside of the home, i'm currently extremely unhappy with my parenting, which is technically my career. i don't feel like i'm good at it and my children are suffering because of it. i've blogged about this before on numerous occasions, and if i'm still struggling with this issue it's clear that i've never come to a satisfactory conclusion about why i'm not a good parent and, therefore, how i can become a better parent.

i know most parents have doubts every now and then about whether they are doing right by their kids. being self-critical and reflecting on parenting experiences makes most moms and dads better moms and dads. but i am seriously concerned all the time with my lack of improvement and an increased agitation with parenting in general.

dare i say it? i don't like parenting. and because i don't like parenting i think deep down i'm resentful. not towards anyone in particular, but just in general. this is where the self-pity comes in :: the "oh woe is me, my lot in life is so tragic" mentality kicks in and i feel sorry for myself. on top of that i start to feel powerless. that leads to frustration, like i don't have control over the direction my life is going.

and i'm afraid to admit i take my frustration out on the kids. my lack of patience with ian and maya is startling and cruel at times. i realize this, but i sometimes lack the control to stop myself. this summer, especially, i've noticed that what little interaction i have with the kids is mostly scolding them. not good.

another thing that worries me is that i am very conscious of what i should do to be a proper parent, but i can't do it. there must be something seriously wrong with me if i can't change my actions knowing full well what needs to be done. i feel like i'm not putting my kids first and foremost; that i prefer to be by myself than to spend time with them.

it scares me to think that, compared to other parents, i may not love my kids very much. is that possible? and if the answer is 'yes,' how horrible. would i love my kids more if i was less selfish? would i be less resentful if i just accepted the fact that with parenting comes great sacrifice? would i be more patient if i could remember that being my children is just as hard as being their parent? i feel like i need a complete overhaul of my attitude and actions in order to get out of this parenting rut (for lack of a better word).

part of that process may be for me to get out of the house and find something for myself away from the kids, as in, finally going back to work. it's also high time for maya to start pre-school and become more socialized with kids her age and other adult authority figures. (we dropped off her preschool application the other day to get on the wait list and she was quite excited about the prospects of going to "maya's school," so i think she's ready.)

having been out of the workforce for a few years now i'm not sure what i want to do. but, more importantly, i'm not sure what i can do. i've been looking at classified ads and i'm not sure i could get hired ... the thing is, though, i know i'm completely capable but i lack the confidence to put myself out there.

so the actual point of this post :: i'm going to disappear from the internet for awhile to focus on becoming a better me. to become a better parent. so that i can feel a bit happier than i am now.

my hope is that it won't take me too long ... wish me luck!

legoland 2008

we're getting to the end of summer and since i really hadn't taken the kids anywhere i decided a trip to legoland was in order. (it helped that we had a coupon for free kids admission.)

ian went for his 5th birthday but it was the first time for me and maya. unfortunately, she's just barely 34 inches tall, the minimum for some of the rides. that prevented us from going on quite a few rides, but we managed to have a lot of fun walking around miniland usa, splashing at swabbies deck, and riding on captain cranky's challenge.

more pictures here.

what i made for dinner :: orzo with creamed corn sauce + salad with salmon

[i forgot to post this from a few weeks ago.]

another yummy recipe from the august 2008 bon appetit. unfortunately, the recipe isn't online so here it is ::

ingredients ::

• 2/3 cup orzo (about 5 ounces)
• 1-1/3 cups whipping cream
• 2 ears of corn, kernels cut from cobs, divided (1 cob reserved)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 3 tablespoons finely chopped leek (white parts only)
• 3 tablespoons dry white wine
• chopped fresh chives

directions ::

1. cook orzo in large saucepan of boiling salted water until tender but still firm to bite, stirring occasionally. drain
2. meanwhile, place cream, half of corn kernels, and reserved cob in heavy medium saucepan. boil over medium heat until thickened about 10 minutes. discard cob; puree sauce in blender until smooth.
3. heat oil in heavy large skillet over medium heat. add leeks and saute until tender, about 2 minutes. add wine and simmer until almost evaporated, about 1 minute. add remaining corn kernels and saute until tender, about 3 minutes. add creamed corn corn sauce and cooked orzo. bring to simmer. season to taste with salt and pepper. transfer to bowl, sprinkle with chives, and serve.

i used fresh organic white corn from the farmers market, which was so sweet. i did too good of a job cutting the kernels off the cob, though, and got the slightly hard part of the kernel that attaches to the cob. so there were some hard bits in the dish, which detracted from the overall goodness of the texture. but all in all a tasty concoction that i will make when i have some leftover fresh corn.

(i paired the dish with a mixed green salad topped with grilled salmon.)

33 months.

maya @ 33 months :: august 4, 2008

• sings really random songs like, "don't know who farted" ... at least, that's what we think she's warbling
• second time at the movies :: wall-e
• her legs are finally long enough to pedal her tricycle
• she is a sticker fanatic. but, unlike her mother who hoards stickers, she likes to use 'em up. she sticks them all over the place :: her body, her face, the glass on our cabinets, the floor, the exercise ball, the inside of the car door, etc. luckily, she gets lots of free stickers at tj's, which i don't mind her using up immediately, but sometimes she gets into ian's sticker drawer and wreaks havoc.
• her favorite vegetable continues to be kyuuri (japanese cucumber) sticks
• lots of running = constantly scraped knees
• likes her swimming "class" :: she'll dunk her head underwater if i make her but she prefers to kick around the water on her back (but she keeps her ears out of the water)
• will take showers now but needs a bit of coaxing to look up so i can rinse her hair
• loves to talk about her "friends," who are really ian's friends
• hanging from the kitchen counter, door knobs, and her crib railing
• keeping summer hours :: staying up waaaaay past her bedtime
• her favorite movie :: little mermaid (watching it now, that movie looks really crude and the storyline is pretty weak compared to animated movies today)
• coloring and drawing with pens and colored pencils. they're mostly squiggles, but if she shows me a random shape and claims it's me, i'll ask her where my eyes are, and she'll go back and add eyes. i also bought her some crayola paintbrushes but i don't recommend this particular item (they're frustrating ... for kid and parent)
• miralax is really helping with her constipation; she now goes almost everyday, which hasn't happened since her first 10 months of life! she loves putting a happy face sticker on the calendar after she goes; she's very proud. she also insists on looking at the unchi in her diaper. yuck.
• becoming a little star wars fan because of ian's obsession with playing star wars battlefront, currently her favorite video game to watch.
• likes getting her ears cleaned with q-tips. she's always bringing me q-tips from the bathroom and i have to tell her that they don't need cleaning that often.
• she heard ian and his friend spew, "that's not fair!" during star wars battlefront so she said it happily for a few days without knowing what it meant :: "i shwim [swim], that not fair!"
• ian taught her how to play jyanken (rock-paper-scissor). we're not sure if she totally understands the "rules" but it keeps her occupied in the car.

gotta keep running

for my birthday my step-sis, D, really went all out and got me a nike+ and pitched in for a nano. she's been so supportive of my running and this shows it!

as much as i love the shuffle rupert got for me, i really love the nano since i can have more than one playlist on it and the display is great. the nike+ is super neat, too :: it keeps track of your runs (distance, time, calories) and then you can upload it to the nike site to see how you're progressing.

now i'm just waiting for the armband i ordered off of ebay to come so i can go for some nice long runs.

visitor

we're gecko-sitting for the week for some friends. meet lunera, our nocturnal guest ::

what i made for dinner :: chicken with edamame skordalia

here's the second recipe i tried from this month's bon appetit :: chicken with edamame skordalia. what i liked about it was that i had almost all of the ingredients at home. i cheated and bought a rotisserie chicken at costco to make it even easier.

the recipe says to season generously with salt and pepper, which is something you should definitely do. it was too bland so i added salt and pepper to my individual portion; once i added salt it brightened up the dish. since the garlic isn't cooked it gives the dip some bite, which we liked. i added quite a bit of lemon juice but rupert and i both felt it could probably use more.

this adaptation of skordalia comes together really easily and quickly in the food processor, and since it can be served room temperature or chilled it makes a nice summer accompaniment to your main dish, whether it be chicken or something else. (rupert used leftover chicken and skordalia in a pita for his lunch the next day.)

what i made for dinner :: roasted pork tenderloin + asian avocado salsa

i love getting new issues of bon appetit; without fail i'll find something that makes me drool and seems easy enough for me to make quickly. this month's issue was no exception.

i'd been letting some avocados ripen on the counter for a few days for a different recipe but decided to use it for the asian avocado salsa. now, what to put the salsa on, that was the question. i headed to tj's to have a look around; i was thinking either pork, skirt steak, or tuna. i settled on pork tenderloin, which ended up being a good choice.

unfortunately, tj's did not carry three of the vegetables listed in the ingredients (watercress, green onions, and jicama). and then ian started complaining about a stomach ache so i grabbed some microgreens and hoped for the best.

when i got home, i checked the radishes in the fridge, hoping they were still good (to substitute for the jicama) but no luck. then i remembered there was a single japanese cucumber on the vine in the yard. perfect.

i roasted the pork in the oven after rubbing it with olive oil, salt and pepper. meanwhile, i made the "salsa," which in the end didn't really seem like a salsa but more like a salad. i omitted the green onion (because i didn't have it) and the wasabi (since the kids would be eating it). i have to say, though, the modifications i made were great. rupert and i really enjoyed both the pork (way better than pork chops) and the salsa/salad. it was really refreshing for a warm summer evening.

i think if i make this again for, say, a seared tuna, i'd use the green onion and wasabi. i can see various versions of this salsa being great with a variety of meats.

just another day, but a day just for us

last night, as we were going to sleep, rupert says to me, "eight years ago we were sleeping separately." i was like, "????" until i realized he meant that we spent the night before our wedding apart (me at my parents' house, rupert at our apartment).

this morning, before we could tell each other, ian groggily said to us, "happy anniversary!"

indeed, happy anniversary rupert! we didn't do anything special per se, but we did spend our evening playing rock band, our anniversary gift to each other. i love you!

i feel like a traitor

i'm a pretty loyal trader joe's customer. i do at least 80% of my grocery shopping at tj's. if i can get it at tj's why would i get it anywhere else?

earlier this year we noticed that one of the stores right next to our local tj's was being converted into a fresh and easy market. i vowed that i wouldn't go to this new market ... sadly, my resolve only lasted 6 days. my curiosity got the better of me (and the $5 off coupon helped too) and i took the kids to check out the competition.

turns out the selection is pretty good considering the size of the market. i doubt i'll go there often but it's a nice backup market when i can't get something at tj's and don't want to make an additional trek to a different store.

i'm sorry tj; i feel bad for betraying your trust. i kinda feel like i've cheated on you and i regret it.

what i made for dinner :: chicken milanese

it's been another week since i've made dinner. and yet again i couldn't think of anything to cook. so i fell back on a recent favorite :: chicken milanesa with arugula. i can't remember where i found the original recipe last year but it's so simple that you don't need a recipe.

ingredients ::

• chicken thighs
• panko breadcrumbs
• 1 egg
• parmesan cheese
• salt + pepper
• arugula
• lemon
• vegetable oil

1. in a rimmed plate or pan grate parmesan cheese into the panko breadcrumbs. mix in freshly ground pepper. in a separate rimmed plate beat the egg with a little bit of water, salt and pepper.
2. heat some oil in a large skillet. dip the chicken thighs in the egg mixture and then bread them in the breadcrumbs.
3. panfry the chicken until golden on both sides and cooked through.
4. plate the chicken on top of a bed of arugula dressed with lemon juice. shave more parmesan on top and serve with a wedge of lemon.

one of these days i think i'll make the cutlets and pair it with japanese curry + rice to make chicken katsu curry.

32, but who's counting?

lots of weekend trips for us lately. this time around? good ol' san francisco.

at the last minute we asked our friends if we could head up there for the weekend. last time we were there we stayed with J+J but this time our friend MZ offered up his place near haight-ashbury since he and his sister would be out of town. we had a whole apartment to ourselves, which worked out great.

we arrived on thursday night and had dinner with J+J at park chow near their house (a few years back we went to chow in the castro with them too). after some post-dinner wii-ing, we headed over to MZ's apartment to get some much-needed rest (my allergies were really bothering me all day).

we woke up to a lot of fog on the fourth. i went for a run along the panhandle towards golden gate park in the morning and came back pretty wet from the very misty fog. the weather was pretty cold and gloomy the entire day, unfortunately. made for a very odd fourth of july; i'm used to sunshine and beach weather. (come to think of it, the last time we were in sf for the fourth in 2005 it was pretty darn cold too.) lunch was at burma superstar in the richmond. the tea leaf salad and the pumpkin pork stew were quite tasty; the salad in particular has a really unique taste and texture.

afterwards we headed to the legion of honor for a hike down the trail near the water. maya and i made it down el camino del mar but since we had the stroller we opted to wait back at the car. good thing, too, since the trail ended up having a lot of stairs (222 in one set alone, according to ian). sadly, that meant maya and i missed the nude guy walking around on the beach. nudists i understand, but who walks around butt-naked in weather like that?? rupert was not kind enough to bring back photos of the big naked man.

dinner was an impromptu bbq back at the apartment. i was already in a it's-my-birthday-and-i'm-not-gonna-lift-a-finger mode so i sat around on MZ's very comfy two-seater couch and read stiff by mary roach. very morbid and entertaining. in fact, it was so entertaining that while the rest of the group (a couple of other people joined us for dinner) watched air force one ('cause it's patriotic?) i went into the bedroom and kept on reading.

after staying up until an ungodly hour reading, i woke up nice and early with the kids. just like last year, i let rupert sleep in on my birthday and spent the early morning feeding the kids and watching tv. thankfully the weather started clearing up and by the time we made plans with J+J to go to the ferry building it was quite sunny out. lunch was at the primavera stand since there was no way we were getting into the slanted door (my first choice for a birthday meal) without a reservation. no biggie since i really enjoyed the ceviche tostada i ordered. sure, it was $9.50 but i felt like it was well worth it. (and, heck, it was my birthday.) i had a bite of ian's pork tamale and that was good too. it's just too bad the famous chilaquiles were already sold out.

since it was saturday the farmers market was going on and it was so fun to see all of the great stands and taste the sweet fruit (have you had a candycot before? yum!). i even saw a wild boar leg being sold and it reminded me of the hunter/gatherer section of michael pollan's omnivore's dilemma. what wasn't so great was the price of everything. crazy expensive; i was going to buy some strawberries for the long drive home but balked at the $3.50 per basket price.

what i really like about a place like the ferry building is that almost everyone around you is a foodie. they share the same love of food that you do and the same fascination with interesting ingredients. J+J and rupert decided to make pasta for my birthday dinner after i picked up a package of ink squid dry pasta from italy.

later in the afternoon we headed to the de young museum to see the dale chihuly exhibit. unfortunately, by the time we got there the special exhibit tickets were sold out. we had to settle for the not-as-impressive-during-the-day chihuly saffron tower sculpture in the museum's garden of enchantment. after a stroll through the golden gate park botanical garden we walked back to the apartment and took a little break before dinner.

i got to sit around while a wonderful dinner was prepared. the garlicky squid ink fettuccine was served with really plump mussels and tasty clams on top. i'm used to squid ink pasta sauce, which is much brinier in flavor than squid ink pasta. although it might look scary because it's so black, the squid ink dry pasta doesn't taste fishy at all.

before heading home on sunday we had brunch at squat and gobble in haight-ashbury. i had the strawberry blintz crepe, which was good but had a bit too much ricotta in my opinion. ian had belgian waffles and maya inhaled part of rupert's omelette. we are beginning to notice more and more that the kids are eating like real people lately, which means they are starting to cost us more. darn kids!

after a weekend of lots of eating, rupert drove us home amidst end-of-fourth-of-july-weekend traffic. i am thankful to him for taking us up there for the weekend and really looking after the kids so i could enjoy my birthday weekend. thanks honey!

32 months.

maya @ 32 months :: july 4, 2008

• first time away from mom + dad :: three days at baba's with ian and my aunt.
• first time at a movie theater :: kung fu panda :: and she actually sat through it on my sister's and her boyfriend's laps (until she fell asleep). now everytime she sees the panda -- on tv, in the newspaper, on a happy meal box in a random garbage can -- she gets excited, yells "kuh-fu panda!" + does her kung fu arm moves.
• first time on a real pony @ griffith park while she was with my mom. unfortunately, the camera battery died and there are no pictures of her going around the pony trail, by herself, twice (ian only went around once).
• the last month has been her verbal spurt. among some of the things she's been saying are her favorites :: "go away, ian" + "that's mine, ian." picked up "cool!" and "oh my gosh!" from somewhere.
• went 16 days without going poopy, a new record. we started giving her "candy juice," a rootbeer-flavored children's laxative. then she went 12 days without going so we called the pediatrician. we saw a new (to us) doctor who jumped into action right away, warning us that it could take a year or two for maya to get over her constipation. we got an x-ray done of her abdomen and, sure enough, it was completely clogged with poop. poor girl had to endure three days of daily enemas (her "i don't like that!" crying was heart-breaking), and now we have to sneak miralax into her food and drink. but it's the first step towards breaking the cycle of constipation (and, hopefully, crankiness).
• asks begs rupert to play lego indiana jones :: "play jones, daddy. please! just little bit!" she's actually pretty good at taking control of the nunchuk and, therefore, the lego character; guiding it around the screen and wielding the whip like an expert. she's particularly fond of the female characters, calling them "pincess maya," and she goes around the room screaming like willie. you can also get her to pretend like she's actually wielding a whip (using a long fabric scrap) with a "whupsh!" sound.
• she's really into candy -- she plays with it more than she eats it -- and popsicles. as you can imagine, the pinata at a friend's party really piqued her interest. after all, there was candy falling out of the sky!
• even with her short little legs she's becoming quite the climber ... but her jumping still needs some work.
• it's happening -- she's interested in disney princesses! the horror! the horror!! she watched "beauty and the beef" (yes, that's what she calls it) and "the little mermaid" at my mother-in-law's house. she also declared her purple dress to be her "pincess dress."
• when we bought rock band, she came in from the beach and instead of going down for her nap, through her groginess, insisted on "rock band! rock band!" sometimes she'll sing parts of "blitzgrieg bop," but usually she just dances to our horrid singing.
• while we were at the park last week a boy fell of the slide and the ambulance had to be called. maya asked her usual, "wha happen?" and we explained that he broke his arm and had to go to the doctor. ever since, when she sees an ambulance she talks about how "broken arms? boy broken arms?" the power of association is pretty amazing ... and maybe a bit traumatizing.

pencil bag

we're headed up to SF for the fourth of july weekend (and my birthday) to visit our friends J+J. i missed J's birthday last month so i decided to make a bag for her (i mean, really, what girl couldn't use another bag?).

i found this tutorial for a pencil bag at craftlog (via the craft zine blog) and it looked like something even i could manage (seeing as i can only deal with straight stitches). admittedly, it wasn't the simplest thing in the world, but i did finish it in a couple of hours despite some errors here and there. i made a tutorial photoset at flickr so you can see how it was made; hopefully the pictures will help anyone else who may want to make this cute bag.

it's actually a bit bigger than i expected so it can be used for items other than pens + pencils. i even got two diapers in it, so i might make one for myself to keep in my purse as a diaper holder.

[fabrics :: linen (outside) + turquoise cotton fabric with tropical fruit print (inside)]