8 weeks.

maya @ 8 weeks :: december 30, 2005

she seems to be happier more often while she is alert. she'll make more cute noises when she's happy, which makes us happy.

we let her nap on her stomach (under strict supervision) because she sleeps better. i know, it's a BIG no-no but we just cannot have her sleeping on us constantly and she does need to sleep during the day.

her eyelashes continue to grow longer.

she can fit into bigger clothes (3~6 month size), and it appears she likes socks.

the play gym (i think that's what it's called; the mat with two arches over it with toys dangling down) keeps her occupied for a little while. she even reaches for some of the hanging toys. she can also grab and hold on to some of her other toys.

her hair isn't mohawk-like, it is a mohawk!

she likes it when you say, "choo, choo, choo!" to her (similar to the shooting sound a droideka makes in the star wars movies).

her night-time sleep schedule is getting better, which makes mama very happy and less tired.

she can be a tad two-faced: when we have guests or see relatives (for the holidays) she's a complete angel, sleeping forever and not making much of a fuss, but when we get home she lets all hell break loose.

continuing with her fondness for being upright, she enjoys it when you hold her so she can stand.

her fist is finding its way into her mouth with higher frequency and she sucks away until mama gets the hint and feeds her. we tried the pacifier last week and she didn't like it at all; it made her mad when she kept sucking but no milk was coming out!

you know he's the big brother when ...

JR: [looking lovingly at a peaceful maya] isn't she cute?
ian: no.
JR: is she ever cute?
ian: no.
JR: are you cute?
ian: yes.

7 weeks.

maya @ 7 weeks :: december 23, 2005

we finally pulled out the baby swing and it seems to keep her quiet for 15 minutes, tops. she likes to stare up at the swinging arm part and listen to the motor.

she's sleeping longer at night (3~4 hour stretches), with shorter feedings in between.

she and i continue to co-sleep in her room (not exactly the most ideal set-up) and i've found that she likes to sleep on her side right next to me if she's not on top of me.

she can sleep on her back sometimes (especially in the futon we share) and she's even napped in her own crib on her back for about 15~20 minutes.

i can get her to doze off or be quiet by taking her into the bathroom with me while i shower. the sound of the water and the fan seem to soothe her.

the front-loading carrier has become my new best friend while i shop. she seems to like it more than the stroller. it has been very helpful while i try to do some last minute holiday shopping (except when i'm trying to load up a huge package of water bottles at costco into my cart).

she smiles quite a bit now, especially when you smile at her or make funny faces and sounds. it's quite darling.

she needs to be in constant motion or she throws a fit.

when she's content sometimes she makes pleasant cooing sounds. take note, maya, we like cooing!

you know he's the big brother when ...

he told me he'd sell maya for a penny.

not exactly a white christmas

i think the reason why i'm so startled that the holidays are already just a few days off is because of the unseasonable weather. the last two days the temperature has reached 80 degrees! today is the first official day of winter and it's as hot as it is during the summer. what's up with that?! no wonder i don't feel like it's time to start wrapping presents in wrapping paper with snowflakes, reindeer, snowmen and dreidels on them.

today i went to costco to pick up our holiday cards because i've been putting it off, and also because i truly didn't realize how close to the holidays we really were. i decided to pick up a few things as long as i was there, and because it was so hot i totally broke out into a sweat just trying to load up the car. again, it just doesn't seem right that it's this warm.

but my thoughts go out to those of you who are getting too much of a white christmas. i know how troublesome it can be to have too much snow. but at least it's picturesque from the inside of your house and it feels right to be wearing a sweater at your christmas/hanukkah dinner instead of a t-shirt and shorts!

6 weeks.

maya @ 6 weeks :: december 16, 2005

definitely smiling now, although i've only been able to get totally goofy shots of her grinning

slightly better control of her arms and hands

first family vacation with my parents to rancho mirage near palm springs: 12.09.05~12.11.05

hair is starting to rub off her head

more baby acne

can really follow moving objects with her eyes (she started this awhile ago)

gets super excited when i pull out the boob

will look towards ian when she hears his voice

feeling blue ... and yellow ... and green ... and pink ...

i've been meaning to post since my depressing whine-session last week but lil' maya refuses to be put down, so i haven't been able to blog. i have a lovely maya sling that my friend A made for me, but i'm still trying to get the hang of putting it on by myself without breaking maya's neck.

anyhoo, just wanted to say thank you to my friends who have been so supportive since i said i was feeling blue. really, i have very little to complain about considering how blessed i am, but i just needed to vent a bit last week. and i appreciate that you've let me do that.

i have been feeling better most days, but i still get unexplainable bouts of the blues. i'm tired and cranky and that makes it worse. like today, i was so tired that i got really snippy with ian because he didn't put the lid back on the glue stick (poor guy bears the brunt of my bad moods during the day). and when maya cries, which is often, it makes me want to cry too.

but i am better. i can still find many reasons to laugh. i still have the desire to be creative. i love my family. i can't help but want to lavish my children with kisses. and, at the end of the day, that's what it's all about, isn't it?

how do you teach a kid to control his farts?

ian is a gassy kid. it's one of those things he inherited from both JR and me, unfortunately. so i taught him at a fairly young age to say "excuse me" after farting. you know, if he's gotta toot-toot, at least he can have good manners. however, since he is so gassy, you can often hear him whispering a barrage of "excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me" when he's really on a roll.

lately, he's been farting uncontrollably, usually on the couch right near someone's face. frankly, it's annoying (and stinky). the other night i got so annoyed with his constant farting (even though i know he can't control it) that i told him he needed to go away to pass gas because no one enjoys smelling someone else's farts.

since then ian has been jumping up out of the blue and running to the other side of the living room to fart. and he will do this over and over again throughout the evening.

5 weeks.

maya @ 5 weeks :: december 9, 2005

• tapping her on the back calms her down immediately
• loves to poop while she eats
• sleeping better at night
• doesn't like spicy breastmilk (i.e., korean kochujyan flavor)
• first restaurant outing (aforementioned korean food) 12.04.05
  
  [i also managed to lock us out of the house today -- right after reading that new teach did it too. thank goodness both kids were outside and my in-laws were around to keep us company while we waited for the locksmith. but, gosh, i felt stupid!]

feeling blue

sorry i haven't posted in awhile. this week hasn't been the best ... i'm feeling a bit depressed and down. i guess the baby blues are kicking in now that the initial adrenaline rush of the birth has worn off.

it's weird, actually. this week has been better in that maya is sleeping more and the nights have gotten a bit easier. we haven't had any problems with the breastfeeding and she's eating well. JR has been very helpful around the house, making dinner and watching the kids in the evening. and, yet, i'm feeling out of sorts.

i know it's the hormones and the exhaustion from the lack of sleep, but i can't seem to get my butt in gear and get things done. JR is fine if i rest all day long (which is what i do) and don't do housework. but i'm not okay with that ... i know, crazy, huh? can you believe i'm not okay with the housework not getting done?!

i just feel like i should be able to do the simple things to keep the house at least slightly orderly. do a load of laundry and the dishes, sweep up, write some thank you cards, that kind of thing. but i'm finding that the day zooms by and i've spent many an hour sitting on the couch. it bugs me that i can't get up and throw some laundry into the washing machine. it bugs me that i can't get up and watch my son do his homework. it bugs me that, at the very least, if i'm not going to do housework i should be napping and i don't.

i just sit there, holding maya, but not really interacting with her. i sit there and feel very little. and what little i do feel leans towards the negative. don't get me wrong, i don't have postpartum depression; it's not that bad. but i'm clearly not feeling happy. i read somewhere that the baby blues are more common in second-time mothers, and i definitely feel it more than when ian was a newborn.

i also know that things aren't good because i'm finding myself reading my comic books a lot. to me that's a sign that i'm trying to escape reality. i know it sounds rather melodramatic, but i know me, and when i'm in this mood with a comic book in hand it means i'm trying to shut out things in my real life. not a good sign.

JR has been asking me if i'm all right for the last few days. i don't know what to say to him, so i just shrug and say i'm okay or i've had better days, but i don't elaborate. he doesn't press the issue and things go on their merry ol' way. i probably should tell him what i'm feeling, but 1) i don't know what i'm feeling, 2) i don't know what i want him to do about it, and 3) i don't want to get annoyed with him if he doesn't say/do what i want him to say/do (which would be difficult because i don't actually know what i want him to say/do). and he's already picking up the slack around the house and i guess i don't want to burden him with this.

in any case, i'm thinking about taking a little break from blogging. just a week or two to "regain my composure" and start feeling better. of course, if i have something to blog about i'll log in, but i don't want to feel like i have to blog when i don't really have a lot to say. instead, i hope to do some things to make me feel better -- maybe scrapbook or read or design our holiday card. i don't know yet, but i'm sure i'll think of something.

so i'll "see" you guys in a little while.

4 weeks.

maya @ 4 weeks :: december 2, 2005

• started wearing size 1 diapers
• i think the caffeine i drank last week made her disagreeable (to put it mildly)
• her fingernails grow in quick and sharp; she scratches her face and makes herself scream
• she likes to go on walks
• her fist is finding its way into her mouth more often
• her hair sticks up in a mohawk-y sort of way
• she's starting to smile more ... although i'm skeptical they're real smiles

unofficial weight [(my weight + maya's weight) - my weight] as of 12.07.05: 9.4 pounds
can that be right? it seems awfully heavy ...