12.15.2005

feeling blue ... and yellow ... and green ... and pink ...

i've been meaning to post since my depressing whine-session last week but lil' maya refuses to be put down, so i haven't been able to blog. i have a lovely maya sling that my friend A made for me, but i'm still trying to get the hang of putting it on by myself without breaking maya's neck.

anyhoo, just wanted to say thank you to my friends who have been so supportive since i said i was feeling blue. really, i have very little to complain about considering how blessed i am, but i just needed to vent a bit last week. and i appreciate that you've let me do that.

i have been feeling better most days, but i still get unexplainable bouts of the blues. i'm tired and cranky and that makes it worse. like today, i was so tired that i got really snippy with ian because he didn't put the lid back on the glue stick (poor guy bears the brunt of my bad moods during the day). and when maya cries, which is often, it makes me want to cry too.

but i am better. i can still find many reasons to laugh. i still have the desire to be creative. i love my family. i can't help but want to lavish my children with kisses. and, at the end of the day, that's what it's all about, isn't it?

3 comments:

hobokener said...

yeah, it's all about love of and from your family. And about people putting caps on glue sticks.

grudge girl said...

I'm so glad to hear you're feeling mostly better. Bouts of tiredness and crankiness are completely understandable! I'm suffering from those myself, though I finally finished everything, and can now concentrate on decorating and getting a tree, and shopping... sigh.

Sounds like Maya is demanding of your attention the same way Charlotte was of mine. *IS* of mine. It evolves, though, and so do you. She probably just realizes how lucky she is to have you for a mom, and doesn't want to be apart from you for even a second!

allison said...

remember to go easy on yourself because being a mom is such exhausting work. i often forget that even though it may *seem* like i should have the time or energy to put the laundry or dishes into the washer, in reality, it just isn't always possible. being a mom to a completely dependent newborn is not as simple as "just sitting around on the couch holding the baby." all day, we are completely tuned into the baby, whether we are conscious of it or not, and that takes its toll.

just remember that you are not alone, and that you are doing a fantastic job. it will get easier (you will remember) as maya gets older. she is truly lucky to have you.

don't get discouraged about the sling - as she gets better head control, it gets so much easier to use.