grateful

people i know are often deceived into thinking i'm a good parent. but that's not it at all. i have to give credit to my son. ian is an amazing kid. and i'm not saying that because i'm his mother. he really is a freakishly well-behaved child.

a trip to the supermarket today made me realize -- yet again -- how blessed i am to be ian's mom: from about four aisles away i could hear a child's hysterical crying and an adult yelling. a little boy was sitting in the shopping cart clearly unhappy, and a very well dressed older woman was yelling at him, "do you want to go to jail?!" over and over again. it was actually quite distressing to continue hearing this little boy screaming for the next 10 minutes. at the checkout line the grandmother was yelling at the boy to "sit your butt down!" and the boy responding, "granny, you're stupid!" and such. just listening to the two of them stressed me out.

and when i looked next to me, there was ian, calm as ever having a conversation with me. i couldn't help but say a little thank you to whatever powers (beit a god, genes, or just plain ol' luck) allowed me to have ian for a son. he has never, and i mean never, thrown a crying fit, either at home or in public. sure, he's been pouty and shed a few silent tears when he hasn't gotten his way, but he tries so hard to understand why rupert or i had to say "no" to him.

sometimes he appears to be much older than he is. i oftentimes expect him to think and act like an adult, and i get frustrated and upset when he acts like a five-year-old. i actually forget that he's just a kid. i have to remember to let ian be himself, to give him the time and space to enjoy his childhood, and to let him know how lucky i am that he calls me "mama."